I apologize for last week. We went on a family trip and I completely forgot about posting. :) It was a great trip though. Here’s a picture, Hubby took. I tried for awhile to get one like this and of course he got it within a couple minutes. Gotta love it!
There have been many things over the past couple of weeks that have made my heart ache. I’ve watched a couple of friends morning their children who have passed. It’s still very new for both of them, one of which celebrated a birthday for their loved one. How I wish I could take their pain away.
This is going to seem like a very abrupt transition, but it all ties together. Hubby is a great researcher. When things happen, he digs into things to find truths, facts, anything that will give him more knowledge on the situation. Me, I’m not that way. I haven’t figured out what I do in situations other than pray.
With Lion, he researched not only the trisomy 13 syndrome but church doctrine on the plan of salvation and talks from apostles and prophets on the loss of children. I have watched him share with countless people these doctrines that have been so comforting to him. I have even shared on his behalf, and I realized recently that I haven’t read those articles yet. I need to.
I remember a friend of mine asking what I found comforting during the time right after Lion passed. What can others do to help. That is a very hard question to answer, and I don’t think I ever talked about it. I think I will now since I’m on the other side of things this time. I think I will also share those truths that Hubby has researched. Maybe they will help someone or maybe they will help you help someone, because we all need support, especially when dealing with a trial like losing a child.
A hug and telling someone you love them is always a good start in any situation. After that it’s easy to feel lost as to what to do. Then comes the question, “What can I do to help?” Chances are, they don’t know the answer. They’re barely keeping it together. It means a lot that there are people willing to help, and they may even feel bad that they can’t come up with anything (which I know is never the intent of that question).
So, rather than asking that question, watch and listen. You will think of or hear things in passing that you can do to help. Then just do them. Don’t ask, just do them. You can do them anonymously or not. Meals, watching kids, quietly getting house work done, taking care of animals, gardens, garbage cans, anything you can think of will be greatly appreciated even if they don’t know it at the time. I had someone make me a CD of songs that she loved to listen to after she had a child pass. It was greatly appreciated, although it took me a little while to recognize what she had done for me.
Hopefully, this gives you an idea of what can be done. Hopefully you can help someone in any situation with these suggestions, and over the next few posts, I’ll share the articles Hubby shares with friends who are going through a similar experience.