Happy Birthday My Sweet Little Lion. How you are loved and missed.

CONFESSIONS OF A MOM

I apologize for last week. We went on a family trip and I completely forgot about posting. :) It was a great trip though. Here’s a picture, Hubby took. I tried for awhile to get one like this and of course he got it within a couple minutes. Gotta love it!

There have been many things over the past couple of weeks that have made my heart ache. I’ve watched a couple of friends morning their children who have passed. It’s still very new for both of them, one of which celebrated a birthday for their loved one. How I wish I could take their pain away.

This is going to seem like a very abrupt transition, but it all ties together. Hubby is a great researcher. When things happen, he digs into things to find truths, facts, anything that will give him more knowledge on the situation. Me, I’m not that way. I haven’t figured out what I do in situations other than pray.

With Lion, he researched not only the trisomy 13 syndrome but church doctrine on the plan of salvation and talks from apostles and prophets on the loss of children. I have watched him share with countless people these doctrines that have been so comforting to him. I have even shared on his behalf, and I realized recently that I haven’t read those articles yet. I need to.

I remember a friend of mine asking what I found comforting during the time right after Lion passed. What can others do to help. That is a very hard question to answer, and I don’t think I ever talked about it. I think I will now since I’m on the other side of things this time. I think I will also share those truths that Hubby has researched. Maybe they will help someone or maybe they will help you help someone, because we all need support, especially when dealing with a trial like losing a child.

A hug and telling someone you love them is always a good start in any situation. After that it’s easy to feel lost as to what to do. Then comes the question, “What can I do to help?” Chances are, they don’t know the answer. They’re barely keeping it together. It means a lot that there are people willing to help, and they may even feel bad that they can’t come up with anything (which I know is never the intent of that question).

So, rather than asking that question, watch and listen. You will think of or hear things in passing that you can do to help. Then just do them. Don’t ask, just do them. You can do them anonymously or not. Meals, watching kids, quietly getting house work done, taking care of animals, gardens, garbage cans, anything you can think of will be greatly appreciated even if they don’t know it at the time. I had someone make me a CD of songs that she loved to listen to after she had a child pass. It was greatly appreciated, although it took me a little while to recognize what she had done for me.

Hopefully, this gives you an idea of what can be done. Hopefully you can help someone in any situation with these suggestions, and over the next few posts, I’ll share the articles Hubby shares with friends who are going through a similar experience.

CONFESSIONS OF A MOM

Happy Birthday My Sweet Little Lion. How we love and miss you.

CONFESSIONS OF A MOM Part 2

So, I left you with the question, how would you answer if someone asked you if you were going to have more kids?

I never thought too much about this question. Well, that's not entirely true. When Hubby and I were first married, that question came up. I just shrugged whenever it came up. I honestly didn't know. We were married for four years almost five before Tigger came along. I'm sure there were people who "judged" us for not having kids right away, but at the same time people need to be careful about making that judgement (me included. I find myself wondering about others.). We don't know if someone can't have kids or if they're having issues or what's going on. Whenever people have kids is up to them.

Anyway, after Tigger came along I didn't think too much about "the question." I thought we were done. When the question came, I adamantly said we were done. Then the more I saw Tigger and his personality I realized he needed a sibling. I swallowed those words and Lion came along. Obviously, things didn't go as planned. That's when "the question" became very sensitive.

Now, you need to know that I know every time someone asked me that question I knew it was with the best of intentions. That didn't change how it hurt just a little bit though. I know some women who have been in similar situations who have been counseled to get pregnant again right away. I know women who have gotten pregnant right away. I have heard women say that if something like that every happened they would get pregnant right away. I respect each persons decision with all my heart, but that was not me in any way shape or form. I couldn't even think about another child. It felt almost like I was denying the fact that Lion was with us.

In fact, there was one week when I had five different people ask me if we were going to have more kids. I hadn't even put all of Lion's things away yet. It had only been about a month or two. I answered very nicely, but the grass hadn't even grown over my son's grave and I'm supposed to think about another child? I struggled with that.

Needless to say, I've had a harder time with "the question" this last year. Even though we were told that having a trisomy 13 baby is an anomaly. They don't know why it happens and the chance of having another trisomy baby is like being hit by lightening twice. We were told that everybody who has a baby has a 3% risk of having a birth defect. Now, we have and added percent to that. Then as I get older that percentage gets higher. (Our real risk is of having a trisomy 21 baby, also known as Downs.) So number wise, the risk doesn't seem high. But . . . there's still that chance, slight as it might be, that we could have this experience again.

Now, with that knowledge, when someone asks me that question I kind of give them a shorter version of that with my standard, "I don't know" answer and leave it with, "It's the burden of the risk" right now. We know what are risks are and basically do we want to take a chance with it again.

Please, don't take this post the wrong way. If you've happened to ask me this question, please don't take offense or feel like you need to apologize. It's not necessary. It's one of those things and everyone looks at things differently. Just know that it can be a very sensitive subject to people. As curious as I've been with some of my friends (because I know they'll make great parents and such cute kids!), I will not ask them because I know what happens in my mind when I get asked "the question."

So, this holiday season, enjoy your loved ones. Remember that Christ is the reason we celebrate this holiday. Know that you are loved, you are special, and this is a wonderful time of year. :) Merry Christmas!

CONFESSIONS OF A MOM

Anyone ever feel like they just want the holidays done and over with? Then at the same time they wish they could slow down and enjoy them? That’s about where we are this week. Things keep happening and there isn’t down time. You’d think I’d be use to it by now, but I’m not. :) I’m sure I’m the only one that feels that way. Ha, ha. :)

I’ve had many people comment on my ability to “handle things so well.” I find that phrase interesting for some reason. “It has to be harder than you make it look,” is the other thing people have said. The answer is, “Yes, it is hard. And I’m handling things different than maybe others would.”

Everyone grieves differently. For example, I’ve told Hubby I don’t think I’ve ever seen him really cry this past year. He has teared up, but I’m not sure I’ve seen him cry. I’ve come to understand that crying isn’t the way he handles things. He’s a research kind of guy. When something happens, he learns everything there is to learn about it, from the prophets, from the medical world, anything he can get his hands on. That’s not me. I’ve only done my own research on Trisomy 13 in the last few months.

Me, I hide emotions and I do it well. I talked to my mom about this a little while ago and she said I’ve been that way my entire life. I hide emotions, good and bad. An example that comes to mind is a particular break up I had in my dating years. He had the diamond. That’s how serious it was. It didn’t work out, and a few weeks after the breakup I saw the guy’s brother. He asked me how I was handling things so well. He said it looked like the situation hadn’t even effected me. His brother was a mess. My response was, it did effect me, I just didn’t show it in public. There’s a time and a place to show that kind of emotion and I couldn’t let it completely debilitate me.

The same goes for my current situation. Is it hard? Yes. I wouldn’t wish this kind of pain on my worst enemy. I wish no one ever had to bury a child. It’s not fun. But at the same time I can’t let that pain completely consume me. I still have a life to live and there are others, namely Hubby and Tigger, that need me to still function.

Do I have my moments? Absolutely. But they are usually when I am alone in the car or after Hubby is asleep as I cry myself to sleep or as I’m pleading with The Lord to help me carry on. And He has helped me. There’s no way I could do this without Him.

How do I hide my emotions? Why do I hide them? I’m not exactly sure. However, I have noticed that I tear up much more easily than I ever have in my life. Sometimes I wish I wore my emotions on my sleeve. Then everyone that’s new or that I meet might know exactly what we’ve been through, but at the same time I don’t want to deal with the pity that will show on their faces or the awkwardness that will follow that kind of conversation. So in a way, it’s easier to just hide my emotions.

That’s just the way I deal with things though. Everyone is different. Some need time alone, others need people, still others can, do, and should seek professional help. But you should also know that grieving is a good thing. It’s something that you should allow yourself to do.

At Lion’s funeral, a great friend and mentor to Hubby, Elder Wright spoke about mourning and grieving. Now I’m not quoting verbatim—although it was very eloquently stated that I might quote him later—but he said that mourning and grief is a form of love. It’s not selfish in nature, but rather shows that we loved and cared for the person that is no longer with us. Kind of like the true definition of loss. (I covered that here.)

It’s a natural thing and we should let ourselves and others grieve in their own ways. Just because others don’t “handle” things the way you think you would doesn’t mean they aren’t hurting. And I think you’d surprise yourself in how you handle different situations.

I’m not meaning to be a downer during this happy, joyful season. It seems that these kind of things have been thrown more in the forefront than they have in the last little while. Despite all of that though, life is good. We are ready for Christmas to come and all the joy the season brings. Merry Christmas to all! :)

CONFESSIONS OF A MOM

Happy Be-lated Thanksgiving! (Was that really only a week ago?) Happy Birthday to Tigger! (Did he really just turn a year older?) So much has happened that I'm having trouble keeping up with things. It's amazing how fast time goes. Sometimes I feel like I've been put in a roller coaster without a seat belt and have to hang on for dear life so I don't fall out. I'm sure no one ever feels that way. :)

I never expected the holidays to be hard. About a month ago, a newsletter came from Hospice of the Valley about how to deal with the holidays. I glanced through it before throwing it away, not completely understanding why it had been sent. Overall, I think I've been dealing with things pretty well, something that I'll get into in a later post. I just wasn't prepared for "the holidays."

We celebrated Thanksgiving with my side of the family a week early. It turned out beautifully and was pretty low key. We celebrated with Hubby's side of the family on Thanksgiving day at a local park. It was a big affair with Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins. The last time I remember a gathering like that was many years ago.

Tigger loved being around so many cousins. Hubby enjoyed seeing cousins he hadn't seen in years as well. Of course that brings up the inevidable question of kids. Some of our family didn't know about Lion. Thankfully, Hubby was the one who answered that question for us. He's good that way, and I love him for it.

It's been a long standing tradition to print our Christmas cards on Black Friday. We had family pictures taken down at the cemetery this year and we saw those proofs Thanksgiving day. And the picture frenzy began. We went through our shots of Tigger and Lion to put together our Christmas card. Then family members asked for a digital copy of Lion. I found myself slowing down and looking at our precious little ones, savoring the memories that each image invoked. Tears filled my eyes and I gradually began to understand why we got that letter in the mail.

Since I’ve gone through all the pictures and have graduated to stuffing envelopes, my thoughts go to how old Lion would be, what he would be doing, how he would be developing. If he grew as Tigger did, he’d be running around the house by now. It’s one of those bitter-sweet moments. I know Lion is where he’s supposed to be, but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss him terrible. That doesn’t mean I don’t think of him every day. That doesn’t mean this holiday season is going to be horrible without him here. That just means it will be different.

I can see why those who have a loved ones pass away struggle at this time of year. It’s not easy to have a constant reminder that someone you love isn’t with you to celebrate the joys of the season with you. That ache seems to be closer to the surface for some reason. But I know that Lion will be with us even though we won’t be able to see him. I know that someday I will see him. I am very grateful for my family, for Hubby, Tigger, Lion, my parents, siblings (that includes my in-law side of the family. I always hated the in-law phrase. In my eyes, they are all my brothers and sisters.).

Happy Thanksgiving. Be sure to show gratitude this season and give an extra hug or two. :)

CONFESSIONS OF A MOM

I will admit that we’ve/I’ve had a harder time since Lion passed than I did during those eight days he was with us. Doubts have crept in and in a way, it’s to be expected. Did we do all we could do to help him? If we had done something different would it have made a difference? Would he have lived longer? Did I do something to shorten his life?Did he know that he was loved?

Then other questions make their way into the forefront. Why? What are we supposed to learn from this? I want to me angry. I want to blame someone. I want to be mad. But I can’t. There is no one to blame. We didn’t to anything wrong. In fact, every doctor we talked to afterward told us that no one was to blame. It was one of the first things out of their mouths. Trisomy is only of those anomalies they don’t understand. It’s something that just happens. There is no one to blame.

I want to be angry and mad at someone, anyone. The most logical finger pointing that can be done is at The Lord. But even then, I can’t be mad or angry at Him. He has a plan. I trust Him in that He knows what’s best for me and my family. Everything happens for a reason and according to His plan. The only thing we can control in these situations is how we react to them. I can’t be mad.

There have been too many blessings, too many tender mercies, too many arms put around me for me to react with anger. Here are two of the biggest blessings I’ve seen.

1. Had we known that Lion had Trisomy 13 beforehand, we would not have had the eight days with him. It’s that simple.

This is the biggest blessing besides having the privilege of taking Lion home for those few precious days.

I have met several other mom’s that have had trisomy babies, and I think the longest one lived was six hours. Most trisomy babies die in uteral. The fact that he was born and lived long than a day is a miracle in itself.

As callused as this sounds, had we known beforehand, Lion would not have been treated the same in the hospital. Since they didn’t know exactly what was wrong with him, they put him on oxygen, tested his blood sugars, and a few other things. They wouldn’t have done that had we known. He would have been labelled as “incompatible with life,” or something like that, and they would have made him comfortable. That’s it. We know that our lack of knowledge got us the time we had with him.

He was a powerful missionary for the time he was here. His nurses loved him. One of them even said that this situation changed her way of thinking about these babies. She said that every baby deserves a chance to go home.

His influences was felt near and far. For months I would hear how our experience effected someone. Lion was a powerhouse, much like his brother. Lion still is a powerhouse only on the other side, and I have no doubt that he and Tigger will be helping each other out along the way.

1. I learned that I can and should lean on my family and friends as well as my husband and my Savior. 

I/we need others, especially The Lord. I have never felt so buoyed. I have never been on the other side of so many prayers. I have never been so strengthened. It was hard when I felt that extra comforting spirit start to recede. I’m not saying that it’s gone, it’s just not so much in the forefront. I learned to rely heavily on it, much more than I ever have before.

It has taught me a whole to meaning to the scripture, “. . . to mourn with those who mourn, and to comfort those who stand in need of comfort . . .”

How blessed we are.

CONFESSIONS OF A MOM

During the eight days Lion was with us, we were so very blessed in many ways. One of those blessing were the NICU nurses we were privileged to work with. We had incredible NICU nurses. We couldn’t have picked better ones. They even said that for some reason they did something different with their schedules that week which ended up making it possible for us to have to same nurses for the four days we were in the hospital.

They were kind, compassionate, and loved Lion as much as we did. In fact, when he first opened his eyes, the nurse had a hard time giving Lion up so we could see him. They were fighting over who would get to hold him and have the time with him. They said it’s not very often they are fighting over babies in the nursery, but they fought over Lion.

I have to laugh at that because Tigger got kicked out of the nursery with the excuse that he needed more “mommy time.” When I told the nurses that, they laughed and admitted that’s what’s said when they’ve done all they can and the baby won’t calm down. So I’ve had one child kicked out of the nursery and the other one they didn’t want to let go.

Our families stepped up in ways I would have never thought of. Tigger had cousins to play with every day. Grandma took him at night. Of course in those two weeks, he outgrew everything I had sent with him. People made sure he had clothes that fit. Dinners were brought in by friends and family. Countless prayers were said in our behalf by those near and far. Our names were places on the prayer rolls of temples in four temples that I know about. Cards, flowers, and other things arrived on a daily basis. Family came from out of state and out of the country. It was truly humbling to be on the receiving end of so much love and service.

We cannot thank everyone enough for the support. I never could have imagined nor had I ever planned on leaning on others as much as I did, but I am eternally grateful for everyone. It’s amazing what one learns when one has to depend on others. It taught me a whole new meaning to , “comfort those who stand in need of comfort,” and “mourn with those that mourn.” What a lesson learned. We can’t do it on our own. We need to let others help. For once in my life I let others help fill the gaps that I knew I wouldn’t be able to fill and was extremely blessed by it. I couldn’t have, we couldn’t have made it through without the support of others.

Don’t be afraid to allow others to serve you. I know that I have a very difficult time doing that. After all, I don’t need to inconvenience others or I can do it on my own. I don’t need help. I have learned that it isn’t an inconvenience and I can’t do it on my own. People do what they do out of love (whether that love is there in the beginning or at the end, it still happens.) Don’t deny them the opportunity. I’m saying that as much to myself as I am suggesting it to others. 

“When ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God.”

How true that is.

CONFESSIONS OF A MOM

I need to go back to the hospital really quick. There are two things I forgot. When the nurses told me Lion had a cleft lip and palate, before I even saw him, I have to admit that one of the first thoughts that ran through my head was worry about how he looked. I worried about how Tigger would react to seeing Lion. Having worked enough with young children, I knew that Tigger could very likely be afraid of Lion or shy away from him because of how he looked. The minute that thought crossed my mind though, I felt bad for even thinking it.

Tigger was able to see Lion for the first time that evening. (Lion was born at 2:41 a.m.) Family member brought him down and Hubby stayed with Lion in the nursery while I was in the hall with Tigger. Hubby held Lion up to the window with the help of his NICU nurse—who held all the tubbing and wires. Grandpa let Tigger stand on his knee I think it was.

I couldn’t see Tigger’s reaction, but both Hubby and Lion’s nurse that Tigger didn’t look scared or afraid. Instead, he looked incredibly worried and concerned for Lion. When I think about that now it brings tears to my eyes that Tigger’s heart was so touched by his brother.

Anyway, I felt like I should touch on those two things before I talk about the five, precious days we had together as a family. Of course the day we brought Lion home, it was freezing cold and raining. Someone said that the weather was such so that Lion could experience all that he could while he was here. I hadn’t thought of it that way, but it gave me a more positive spin on it.

We had a very quiet first day home. Hubby, Lion, and I ended up falling asleep together for a little while. We had Lion’s Hospice nurse come by, and while she was there we he stopped breathing a couple of times. I thought Lion was going to return home before we could get Tigger home with us. Thankfully, he stuck around. We got several good family pictures and moved forward.

I didn’t sleep hardly at all that night. I was afraid of waking up to find him gone. It was like that most of that week. However, we did fall into a routine. Our family was amazing in helping us have the time we needed to take care of Lion, while making sure Tigger had cousins to play with. We had a few nights with just Hubby, Lion and me, then when we felt we had figured out how to make things happen, we gave Tigger the choice sleeping at Grandma’s or coming home. He chose to sleep at home.

Some of my most precious moments happened in those two evening when we had everyone home. Tigger wanted to play with Hubby while I sat on the couch holding Lion. Tigger wanted to help in every way he could with Lion, and we let him to a certain extent. Tigger helped pick out the clothes Lion would wear and was fascinated with his hands. Things we going really well, minus the fact that I was always worried when he would stop breathing if he’d ever begin again. In fact, Lion’s Hospice nurse came on Thursday and said he was looking and doing wonderfully well.

Then it all went downhill. At Lion’s midnight feeding, he ended up throwing everything and then some up. From that point on, it sounds like he was choking on his own spit. We called everyone, and they all said there was nothing really to be done. We tried everything we could think of. He stopped breathing more frequently. The Hospice nurse came and spend several hours with us. The only thing she could say is that it was normal. He could do this for weeks or months. I was beside myself. The only thing we could do was continue forward.

Friday evening, we were getting Tigger ready for bed and I was feeding Lion when he stopped breathing. I waited and waited for him to take another breath. Thirty seconds turned into a minute which turned into two. Then three. The four. His little chest didn’t rise and I thought he was gone.

As I tried to keep things in check so I wouldn’t scare Tigger, I told Hubby I thought Lion had gone home when he took a shallow breath, then another. I called my parents and asked them to come get Tigger, wondering how much more I could handle. They immediately picked him up after he was able to give Lion a kiss on the head.

Hubby and I knew there wasn’t much time left with Lion. I wasn’t ready to let go. I didn’t want him to go. Somewhere deep down I knew that it was for the best, but I didn’t want to let go. So we did the only thing that we could do. I held him and rocked him while the both of us sung hymns and children’s hymns together. It was during that time that he returned home to his Father in Heaven. 

Confessions Of A Mom

One thing I forgot to mention last week. In addition to not gaining weight the last month, we also had low embryonic fluid. My OB kept a very close eye on us, and when he said that Lion would do better in the outside world rather than in, we were scheduled for an induction.

Once Lion slipped into the world, the nurse said, “Did you know your baby has a cleft lip and palate?” I shook my head, feeling very . . . I’m not sure of the word. Dazed comes to mind, but that doesn’t quite describe the feeling. (At this point, I had been awake for almost 24 hours. Not to mention labor and delivery.) I waited and waited to here Lion cry. My heart pounded as I worried. It took longer than I would have liked, but Lion finally cried. 

The nurses took him over to their little table to take his measurements. Then they left him there. His little arms and legs were moving. He was crying, and my heart was breaking. I wanted to tell Hubby to get over there, but I could tell he was feeling as confused or dazed or whatever the word is as I was. Later Hubby said he was extremely worried about Lion.

Finally, they wrapped Lion up and placed him in my arms. He turned his little head and looked right at me as if to say, “I’m here, Mom.” Those who know newborns know that that doesn’t happen. They don’t/can’t really focus on anything that young, but there was no question he was looking at me.

What a precious child I held in my arms. A child I didn’t know how to care for. So, while rubbing his forehead I began to ask questions of how to feed and take care of him. I honestly don’t remember the answer, but it didn’t take the nurses long to take him back and admitted him into the NICU. (I didn’t know that’s what they had done. Hubby was there when they admitted him for low blood sugar. I didn’t find out for a few more hours.)

Hubby and I then got a couple hours of sleep before they had me move from labor and delivery to recovery. Within another two hours, the doctors and specialists began coming in. We were told that in addition to the cleft lip and palate, Lion’s heart was on the wrong side and he was tachypnea or rapid breathing. We had a pediatric doctor come tell us what they thought was going on, meaning the possibility of trisomy 13 or 18 but they wouldn’t know for sure until blood work was done and that his heart was on the correct side, just way up in the corner making it seem like it was on the wrong side.

While waiting for the test results to come back, we met with a pediatric plastic surgeon to go over the process of repairing the cleft lip and palate, a speech pathologist to help us learn how to feed Lion in the interim, there was an ECHO of his heart taken, and a brain scan. Then once the results came back positive for trisomy 13, the doctors came for different reasons. What our options were for surgeries if Lion decided to stick around for a while. The do not resuscitate order. Life expectancy. Whether or not we’d like Hospice to become involved, etc. etc.

We made the decision to take Lion home. We stayed for in the hospital for four days—

1. birth & not knowing
2. knowing the results and making decisions
3. watching and learning how to care for Lion (changing a feeding tube, how to use a feeding machine, what to watch for in his breathing, i.e. what to do if he turns a grayish-blue which he did, monitoring oxygen levels, etc)
4. caring for him on our own with the NICU nurses across the hall

In that time, we gathered the family that was in town and gave Lion a name and a blessing in the hospital. What a sweet moment that was. Then we got ready to go home.

Confession Of A Mom

The last couple of weeks, I’ve been reliving the few days we had Lion at home with us and his return home. Not that I would or could change anything but I think it’s normal to ask questions. Is there something I missed? Could I have done things differently? Did I do the best that I could? What if . . . Although, that’s a very dangerous question.

So, to truly understand where and how my brain has made some conclusions, it’s time to write Lion’s whole story. I’m not going to be able to tell it all in one shot. It would be too long of a post, but over the next few weeks his story will come out as well as some of the other things running through my head in relation to Tigger and Lion and life.

Lion was born with trisomy 13 also known as Patau Syndrome. Once people hear that, it seems the next question is, “Did you know?” In our case, we did not which I’m learning is rare. Most babies with trisomy 13 or 18 are diagnosed in utero. If they make it to birth, the mortality rate is very high within the first few hours or so. The more I learn the more I know what a miracle it was that we were able to take Lion home. 

Now, I’m not a researcher. That’s not how I deal with things. There is still a lot I don’t know about trisomy 13 other than it’s a chromosomal disorder. Hubby on the other hand is. He would be able to give a lot more details than I can, but that’s not really important right now. At the moment I feel I need to address the question that’s usually asked. “You didn’t know?” meaning, in my opinion, how could you not know. 

I had a very normal pregnancy with Lion. There was really no indication that anything was wrong. Apparently there’s a test that was offered and we turned it down. That’s supposed to happen with every pregnancy but I honestly don’t remember being offered the test.

We never saw his cleft lip or palate because after we found out we were having a boy, we never saw his face again. Lion preferred to keep his face tucked away. Funny thing is, the last time we did see his face, I remember my OB saying Lion didn’t appear to be Downs (which is another form of trisomy). 

The only indication that anything was amiss was the last month, Lion stopped gaining weight. The last couple of weeks, I remember him not moving as much either. It worried me, but the doctor didn’t seem overly concerned so I put it aside, only I knew it was time for him to come soon. We were then scheduled for an induction in the early part of February.

Those who have had inductions know that there is a possibility that you won’t get in at the time you’re scheduled because the hospital didn’t have room. That turned out to be our case that day. We were scheduled for 9 a.m. and didn’t get in until almost 6 p.m. The longer we waited the more anxious I became because I knew Lion needed to get here. He wasn’t moving like he had and that scared me. Thankfully, we got in that day. If we hadn’t, I would have lied. Hubby would have taken me to the hospital and I would have told them I stopped feeling the baby move.

It took awhile for things to get started, but once they did, my labor was short in comparison to Tigger (pushing hard for over two hours compared to pushing twice). That’s when all the fun and learning began.