CONFESSIONS OF A MOM

Yes I'm getting this up late, but that's the way the week has worked out. Somehow this week has just blown up and was really busy. As I look back on it now, in a way it was a blessing. I had moments every day when I thought about my little Lion and tears came to my eyes. I'm afraid if I hadn't had things going on that I would have broken down a lot more.

Last Saturday we had a memorial/birthday celebration for our sweet Lion. That morning Tigger asked who the party was for. When we told him he immediately asked, "Is he going to be there?"

"Probably, but we won't be able to see him."

"Oh."

That brief conversation got me choked up, but we had a wonderful celebration. We miss him daily and are thankful that we will see him again someday. Here's a picture of the present we got Lion for his birthday. Tigger helped pick the balloons and you can't really see it, but there's a dragonfly solar light.

Happy Valentine's Day and We Miss You Little One.

CONFESSIONS OF A MOM

Friday evening seems to sneak up too fast. I plan on having time and then I blink and it’s late Friday. It’s strange how that works or maybe it’s just my life. :)

One of the questions I feel is being asked a lot, or maybe it’s just because I’m asking myself the question, is what are you going to do for Lion’s birthday. Since it’s about a week a way, I guess it’s time to figure it out. The funny thing is, I haven’t physically had the time to figure it out.

I can’t decide if I’m grateful for all the distractions that are coming because they’re keeping my mind off of exactly what happened a year ago. Or if I resent them in a way because they’re keeping my mind off what happened a year ago. In a way I think it could be a blessing in disguise, but at the same time I’m wishing I had time to ponder things a little more.

Tigger is throwing out all the things he’d like to get Lion, i.e. a pink Christmas tree, a pumpkin, a yellow Christmas tree, wreaths, a butterfly, a green Christmas tree. It’s probably coming because of what he sees on the headstones of different people at the cemetery. That and we had a family funeral in Utah recently. There happened to be snow on the ground, which he loved, but now it’s Christmas time again because “it’s snowing.” I would love to make all of that happen, but time is becoming an issue and I don’t think I like that.

Anyway, I can say that I’m much more aware of the little ones around me. Especially those who share a birthday close to Lion. It makes me wonder what he would be doing if he had stuck around for longer. I try hard not to dwell on those thoughts though because he wouldn’t be doing anything close to what they are doing with the issues he would have still carried. One can imagine though.

So what are we going to do to celebrate one year? I don’t exactly know yet. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long. In some ways it feels like it happened forever ago and in others it happened yesterday. It’s a very strange feeling.

So with my scattered brain, I’m going to have to leave on that note. I want to do something special and I have a few ideas but it never hurts to have more. What are your suggestions?