Saturday, October 5, 2013

Confession Of A Mom

The last couple of weeks, I’ve been reliving the few days we had Lion at home with us and his return home. Not that I would or could change anything but I think it’s normal to ask questions. Is there something I missed? Could I have done things differently? Did I do the best that I could? What if . . . Although, that’s a very dangerous question.

So, to truly understand where and how my brain has made some conclusions, it’s time to write Lion’s whole story. I’m not going to be able to tell it all in one shot. It would be too long of a post, but over the next few weeks his story will come out as well as some of the other things running through my head in relation to Tigger and Lion and life.

Lion was born with trisomy 13 also known as Patau Syndrome. Once people hear that, it seems the next question is, “Did you know?” In our case, we did not which I’m learning is rare. Most babies with trisomy 13 or 18 are diagnosed in utero. If they make it to birth, the mortality rate is very high within the first few hours or so. The more I learn the more I know what a miracle it was that we were able to take Lion home. 

Now, I’m not a researcher. That’s not how I deal with things. There is still a lot I don’t know about trisomy 13 other than it’s a chromosomal disorder. Hubby on the other hand is. He would be able to give a lot more details than I can, but that’s not really important right now. At the moment I feel I need to address the question that’s usually asked. “You didn’t know?” meaning, in my opinion, how could you not know. 

I had a very normal pregnancy with Lion. There was really no indication that anything was wrong. Apparently there’s a test that was offered and we turned it down. That’s supposed to happen with every pregnancy but I honestly don’t remember being offered the test.

We never saw his cleft lip or palate because after we found out we were having a boy, we never saw his face again. Lion preferred to keep his face tucked away. Funny thing is, the last time we did see his face, I remember my OB saying Lion didn’t appear to be Downs (which is another form of trisomy). 

The only indication that anything was amiss was the last month, Lion stopped gaining weight. The last couple of weeks, I remember him not moving as much either. It worried me, but the doctor didn’t seem overly concerned so I put it aside, only I knew it was time for him to come soon. We were then scheduled for an induction in the early part of February.

Those who have had inductions know that there is a possibility that you won’t get in at the time you’re scheduled because the hospital didn’t have room. That turned out to be our case that day. We were scheduled for 9 a.m. and didn’t get in until almost 6 p.m. The longer we waited the more anxious I became because I knew Lion needed to get here. He wasn’t moving like he had and that scared me. Thankfully, we got in that day. If we hadn’t, I would have lied. Hubby would have taken me to the hospital and I would have told them I stopped feeling the baby move.

It took awhile for things to get started, but once they did, my labor was short in comparison to Tigger (pushing hard for over two hours compared to pushing twice). That’s when all the fun and learning began.

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