CONFESSIONS OF A MOM

I’ve had two things that have been asked and said over the past little while that have gotten me thinking. The first is a question. Since we’re expecting again, I’ve had many people ask if I am with my same OBGYN. The answer is yes, but it’s been asked enough that I got to wondering why it would be in the first place.

I can’t say for sure what others have in their mind but the only thought that comes to mind is that people wonder if I would trust my OBGYN with another child. After all, he didn’t diagnosis anything with Lion when it could have and many think it should have been caught before he was born. If the mistake was made once, it could happen again so why trust him?

Easy. Why wouldn’t I trust him? Everyone is human. Everyone makes mistakes. Yes some mistakes have bigger consequences, but we all make them. We seem to hold doctors up to an expectation of never making mistakes, and when/if they do, we tear them apart. The bottom line is we weren’t supposed to know about Lion’s condition before he was born. I firmly believe we wouldn’t have had the time we did with him had we know. Do I hold my OB responsible? Absolutely not. I’m comfortable with him and I trust him, which for me and doctors says a lot. And frankly I would most likely still have the same worries and concerns if not more of them with another OB than I do with my current one.

At this point in time, The Lord owes you. That’s what I’ve had a few people say as of late. Or at least something similar to that. The first time it was said, it caught me off guard. The Lord owes me? Why would He owe me? I put it out of my mind until it was said again.

I guess I can see why people would think that, but at the same time the whole idea makes me a bit uncomfortable. The Lord doesn’t owe me anything in my opinion. Every thing in life happens for a reason, meaning that The Lord is in charge. Lion was needed on the other side more than he was needed here. We were blessed to have him for the time we did. Would it be nice to know if this new baby will be with us for longer . . . yes, but ultimately it’s not up to me. I can’t control that. All I can do is be thankful for the time I have been given with each of my loved ones.

I trust The Lord. I trust that He has a plan for each of us. I trust that things happen exactly the way they are supposed to. Does that mean it’s easy or that it makes sense? No. Does that mean The Lord owes us after something tragic happens to us? In my opinion, no it doesn’t mean that at all. I’m not sure I’m explaining my thoughts and feelings clearly. I hope I’m making sense and not saying things that others may be offended by. That’s not my intent at all. I hope that something in this post will make sense. Just know that I know that The Lord knows us, that He lives, that He loves us and as long as we are doing our best and living righteously, we will be blessed. Maybe not in the way we think we should be, but we will be blessed. Happy Easter. :)