Saturday, January 18, 2014


I have a good friend who became a widow in the last year. She began talking on Sunday and prefaced what she said by stating that she wasn’t “normal” yet so she shouldn’t be sharing things yet. It immediately made me think of another friend who also buried a child in the last year. She feeling like she’d never be the same again and wondering when the hole in her heart would be filled.

Well, guess what. After experiences like these someone will never be “normal” again. The hole in your heart won’t go away. You will never be the same again.

That’s not a bad thing though. Experiences shape who we are. Hopefully, we learn and grow from our experiences whether easy or hard. I know that some experiences are very difficult to get through and the last thing people want to do is learn from it. But once the healing process (which I think is very different than becoming “normal” or going back to being the same again) is over, if we look at our situations, there is always something to learn from them.

The learning process depends a lot on our state of mind, I believe. If we’re not ready to learn something, it simply won’t happen. And that’s okay for a time. We need to give ourselves time to grieve and heal, but I think it helps at some point to look for those things that we can learn from our experiences. It’s amazing what we can find.

We learned a lot from Lion. We are still learning things from our experience. The entire experience has helped shape Hubby, me, and Tigger into better people. Is there still a hole in our hearts? Absolutely. Will it ever go away? No. Are we going to be the same again? No, however, we will learn to continue on with life. We will learn to embrace our experience and share it with others. That way we continue to heal, learn, and grow. And hopefully, our experience will help others get through their hard experiences as well.

So, if you have or currently are going through something difficult and you don’t think you’ll ever be the same again, you won’t. But that’s not a bad thing. In fact, I’d say it’s a wonderful thing because you are evolving as a person and becoming a better you. That may not be what you want, and believe me, I completely understand that, but realize that there is not much we can truly control in our lives. What we can control is our reactions and attitude toward things.

Even the most difficult situations offer opportunities to learn if we will allow ourselves to see it. I hope and pray that we all continue to learn and grow and that none of use will ever stay the same.


  1. I love this, Bonnie. Thanks for sharing. You'll never go back to the "normal" from before, but we never do, for any life change--getting married, losing a spouse, having a child, losing a child, losing a parent. You find a new "normal"--with a hole in your heart for losses (or with new loved ones in your heart), and with the Lord's tender mercies that stem from that, too. I agree, too, that sometimes one reason for our hard experiences is to help us succor others, as Christ succors us. He endured all the hardships we go through so he perfectly knows how to help us in times of need, and when we get to do the same in some small way, what a privilege to be like Him.

  2. It takes courage to face what you've faced! You're an amazing example to all of us of keeping faith and keeping your family together no matter what.

    Thanks for sharing this.

  3. Thanks, Jordan and Valerie! You guys are both amazing women. :)

  4. Bonnie, we love you! Thanks for sharing this and your talents.