Confessions Of A Mom

I didn’t want kids. It wasn’t always like that. In fact if you had asked me in Elementary school what I wanted to be when I grew up my response always included being a mom. As I aged, I figured I would be a mom someday down the road. Well, after marrying off six different sets of friends, I gave up on that dream and decided I didn’t need children. I was perfectly happy the way things were.

That’s when he came along. They always say it happens when you least expect it or when you’re not looking for it. I never believed them. I still don’t want to believe them, but the words taste sour in my mouth because I know it’s true. It happens when you least expect it.

Then I did what I swore I would never, ever, ever do. I married him within three months of our first date. (It might have happened sooner had my dad not been in Europe when we began dating.)

The next logical step after marriage would be kids. Nope. Not me. The thought really hadn’t even occurred. I had graduated with a Masters degree, did a post-baccalaureate for my Elementary teaching certificate and found myself teaching kindergarten. Note to self: don’t get married during your first year of teaching, especially if it happens to be within the first month of that first year of teaching. Not a good idea. Can we say stress?

Needless to say, I finished my first year of teaching and was still married. The second year began and the idea of kids officially took a flight out the window. If anyone has any trouble convincing youngsters the need for abstinence and/or birth control, just have them spend a day in a kindergarten classroom. That’s all. One day and they’ll get the idea. I got my husband to spend half a day with me and he wouldn’t come back.

Everyone told me that my own children would be different than taking care of someone else’s, but their arguments fell on deaf ears. I didn’t want to hear it. I couldn’t imagine teaching all day and coming home to another one. Those who have done it or who are doing it, more power to you. I don’t know how you do it. You have my upmost respect.

The days slipped by and because of a myriad of things, I decided not to renew my teaching contract after three years. I was excited to get to stay home. I could finally do things like go to the restroom whenever I wanted to, have more than twenty minutes for lunch, you know enjoy the luxuries of life. After almost a year of living the high life (don’t get me wrong, I didn’t just eat bon-bon’s and watch TV. I was productive during that time), the idea of children had begun to grow on me. Good thing too, because not two months later we found out we were pregnant.