CONFESSIONS OF A MOM

So I began a new adventure a couple of weeks ago and I'm loving it! We signed Tigger up for a martial arts class (more specifically a Jui Jitsu) toward the end of the summer. In watching him practice I found myself really wanting to learn as well. My reasoning was that I needed to know how to "defend" myself when Tigger figured out exactly what he was doing. So after several weeks of trying to figure out scheduling for the adult classes I was able to find a time that worked. What I didn't expect was how much I would love it.

It's been years since I've tried something new, and I love stepping into an entirely different world than I've ever dealt with before. Jui Jitsu is mentally and physically challenging and it's so much fun. On the flip side, I didn't expect the yearning to be able to give it the time I want to. When I begin something new, in the past I've been able to give it six to eight hours a day.

For example, in my cello days I would practice the six hours a day then have classes and rehearsals on top of it. I loved it! When I began seriously writing I had the ability to write for eight hours a day. Now that I'm in the Jui Jitsu world I'm finding I'm yearning to be able to give it that kind of time and I'm not able to right now. It's frustrating. Maybe that's why I haven't tried anything new for awhile because I subconciously knew I wouldn't be able to give it the time I would want to.

I've always been someone who's said that you can make time for anything you want to, and I still believe that's true, but . . . you also have to look at what is the most important way to spend your time. That's why Clyde (my cello) has been neglected as of late, and my writing isn't happening like it use to. That's why I'm not able to spend the six to eight hours on the mats like I want to. There are little people that need my attention at the moment.

Now there will come a moment in time when I will be able to do that again. Then I will have to choose which world to spend my time in. As for now, I'm enjoying the time I'm able to spend in my various worlds. I have to remind myself to be satisified though and not regret "time lost" because it's never truly lost, just spend differently. How blessed we are to be able to make those kind of choices.

Then with it being so close to 9-11, I found myself explaining to Tigger what happened those many years ago. It was a humbling and sobering experience to try to explain those events to a four-year-old. I am continually amazed at how aware he is and his understanding of things around him. He asked very good questions and seemed to accept the answer I gave him. It's for these little ones that we fight and remember for. It's so no one forgets the sacrifices made. It's so we remember how truly blessed we are. Always Remember.