Saturday, September 7, 2013

Confessions Of A Mom

Death. Died. Lost. Loss.

I’ve decided I don’t like those words, yet it seems to be a knee-jerk reaction in a ways in talking in talking about someone who has passed away. We’ll say something like, “When we lost so and so to cancer.” Or “So and so died yesterday.” Or “The world has lost a great person.” Or someone will say, “I’m sorry for your loss.” I know it’s not a big deal and no one means anything by it, but for some reason it’s bothered me lately.

Death seems so harsh for some reason. So final. I don’t like to think of it in those terms. Lion didn’t die, he passed away. I know, it’s the same thing, but to me it’s a softer way of saying it.

Then you get into the whole Lost/Loss thing. Again, I don’t like to think of Lion as lost. I didn’t lose my son. I know where he is. And he isn’t lost.

So I pulled up the old dictionary with the intent of sharing the definition. Well, I learned something. Lost means pretty much what I thought it did.

  • unable to find something
  • unable to find one’s way
  • saying something has been taken away and cant be recovered
  • having perished or been destroyed
  • being defeated

I still don’t like that word.

Now, loss on the other hand didn’t mean exactly what I thought it did.

  • the state of feeling of grief when deprived of someone or something of value
  • a person or thing that is badly missed when lost (there’s that word again.)

The statement, “I’m sorry for your loss,” makes a little more sense now. When a loved one passes away there is a great sense of loss. They will be truly missed and those left behind usually grieve. That makes sense. So, that word’s not so bad. :)

I guess the whole reason this has been at the forefront of my mind is my uncle passed away. Although it was expected, it hit me harder than I thought it would. Then as word has spread, lost and loss have come up again. That’s what prompted my little “research” into those two words and I thought I’d share.

So that’s my little insight that may mean nothing to anyone else, but it has helped me. For all of you out there who have had a loved one pass away or an animal or anything precious to them, I am truly sorry for your loss and my prayers are with you.


  1. What a beautiful post and insight into the tender intricacies of a word, and the heart.

    I truly am sorry for your loss, but I know, as you do, that Lion isn't lost. I love how you said you know where he is. You have such an amazing testimony. He hasn't "died." He has changed. And he is still yours.

    Your faith and testimony during this time has truly inspired me. I am so grateful that we are friends- no, soul sisters. My prayers are with you always, as is my love and friendship.

  2. Michell, thank you. I hope you know how much you've touched my life as well. Sure love you and can't wait to see you soon! :)