Confessions Of A Mom

Time. I’ve been struggling with that a lot lately, which is hard for me to admit. Time management has never been a struggle for me. I wouldn’t say that my issue is time management per se, but rather what to do with the time I have.

Someone recently asked me what I like to do with my free time. My first thought was, “What free time?” The more I thought about it though, even if I did have more “free” time my answer would have to be whatever I’m doing at the moment. It’s been a strange feeling because I have truly wanted to just be doing whatever I happened to be participating in at that moment in time. If I’m playing with Tigger, that’s what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. If I’m playing my cello, that’s what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. If I’m writing, that’s what I want to be doing.

The reason it’s strange is in the past there has usually been something I’d rather be doing. I’d rather be playing my cello or writing or reading or anything but what I was doing. Now, it seems to be coming back to wishing I was doing something else rather than what I’m doing. I’ve felt the pressure of really getting back into my writing, but it seems like every time I sit down to work on my novel, my brain isn’t thinking that way or Tigger wakes up from a nap or bills need to be paid or the list goes on.

One of the unwritten rules of writing is to use your spare time to write or schedule the time to write or make the time. I am a firm advocate of making time for whatever you feel is important. I know that can be done. I’ve lived that way for a long time. You can make time for whatever is important.

That brings me to my real struggle at the moment. I want to be writing. I want to be a published author. I want to have that happen. I know what I need to be doing to make it happen, but everything takes a sacrifice and what am I willing to sacrifice to make that happen. Is it worth my time to make it happen? What am I willing to give up?

I see that question written out and I wonder what the answer is. Sometimes I don’t know how I would respond. Are the sacrifices worth it?

A favorite author friend of mine once said in a presentation that your kids are only little once, but writing will always be there. I’ve thought of that many times when Tigger wakes up from a nap earlier than I would like or he doesn’t take a nap or we decided to do something as a family during the time I’ve set aside for writing. Is the sacrifice worth it?

So as I’m struggling to get back into writing and not being successful with getting my brain jump started into the novel I’m working on, I’m continually wondering if I’m doing what I should be doing. Is this my time to be writing or should I be focused on something else? Should I even be pursuing writing?

A week or so ago, all this came out with my writing group I meet with weekly. (Well, not all of it, I was able to sum it up better then.) One of the gals told me that I shouldn’t worry about the writing. I had a traumatic beginning of the year and sometimes we have delayed reactions to things, so don’t worry about it.

I don’t know why it hit me with what she said, but I felt like a burden had been lifted from my shoulders. It’s okay to step back and focus on some other things for the moment. It has made life a lot easier to not have that continual worry. Do I still wonder if the sacrifice is worth it and how much I’m willing to sacrifice? Yes. But, for now I’m good. My writing will happen when it’s supposed to happen and I shouldn’t be beating myself up for not making it happen now. Life to short to live that way.

Again, I’m not sure this post is making sense. You can tell that my thoughts are all scattered, but hopefully you’re able to take something from it. I know that I’m more aware of what I will have to sacrifice to make things happen and I’m always asking myself if it’s worth it. Prayerfully, I’m making the right sacrifices.

MY OWN MR. DARCY by Karey White--Book Review

MY OWN MR. DARCY by Karey White. This romance is based on Pride and Predujice. It was a very cute read. The characters were fun and easy to like. The situation was very creative, and as a Jane Austin fan I was curious to see how this played out. It was interesting, and I enjoyed it. The growth of Lizzie was great to experience, but I wanted her to have stronger reasoning. I loved how it ended and would recommend it to anyone who loves a good, clean romance.

:) :) :)

After being dragged to the 2005 movie Pride and Prejudice by her mother, sixteen-year-old Elizabeth’s life changes when Matthew Macfadyen’s Mr. Darcy appears on the screen. Lizzie falls hard and makes a promise to herself that she will settle for nothing less than her own Mr. Darcy. This ill-advised pledge threatens to ruin any chance of finding true love. During the six intervening years, she has refused to give any interested suitors a chance. They weren’t Mr. Darcy enough.

Coerced by her roommate, Elizabeth agrees to give the next interested guy ten dates before she dumps him. That guy is Chad, a kind and thoughtful science teacher and swim coach. While she’s dating Chad, her dream comes true in the form of a wealthy bookstore owner named Matt Dawson, who looks and acts like her Mr. Darcy. Of course she has to follow her dream. But as Elizabeth simultaneously dates a regular guy and the dazzling Mr. Dawson, she’s forced to re-evaluate what it was she loved about Mr. Darcy in the first place.

*Cover and back cover blurb was taken from the author's website. A review copy was provided, but did not effect my review.

THE HOUSE OF HADES by Rick Riordan--Book Buzzin'

THE HOUSE OF HADES by Rick Riordan. Loving this series and can't wait for this one on October 8, 2013!


At the conclusion of The Mark of Athena, Annabeth and Percy tumble into a pit leading straight to the Underworld. The other five demigods have to put aside their grief and follow Percy’s instructions to find the mortal side of the Doors of Death. If they can fight their way through the Gaea’s forces, and Percy and Annabeth can survive the House of Hades, then the Seven will be able to seal the Doors both sides and prevent the giants from raising Gaea. But, Leo wonders, if the Doors are sealed, how will Percy and Annabeth be able to escape?
They have no choice. If the demigods don’t succeed, Gaea’s armies will never die. They have no time. In about a month, the Romans will march on Camp Half-Blood. The stakes are higher than ever in this adventure that dives into the depths of Tartarus.

Confessions Of A Mom

Through out the week, I had several ideas for posts today. Of course as I sat down to actually write about those ideas, I can’t remember a single one. That’s not entirely true. I remember a few topics I’d like to write about, I just haven’t figured out how to write about them yet. They can be touchy subjects and I want to make sure that I do it well.

Life is a precious thing. Don’t waste it. Don’t hold grudges. Tell your family how much you love them. Show them that love. Live each day to it’s fullest. I know it sounds cliché to say treat each moment like it’s your last, but I’ve really grown to appreciate that saying. You never know. Life has a way of throwing curve balls and you just never know.

As I watched Tigger this week, I found myself enjoying the little things more and more. When I got frustrated, I tried to remember that you just never know and I was blessed to be a little more patient. I know I’ve been greatly blessed to have more patience and understanding with Tigger. I’ve needed it and have come to count on that blessing as he’s pushing buttons, because you just never know. Even tonight, as he’s fighting sleep time, I thought myself of the prophet who talked about his infant son crying so hard he threw up and how he told his wife he’d take care of him one night. He didn’t know that would be one of the last times he’d hold his son before his son went back home.

I know it’s crazy to think that way, but it sure has helped me appreciate Tigger more . . . even his fits of crying and stubbornness and button pushing and everything else a two-year-old throws at you. In a way, it’s made life a little more pleasant.

That goes along with a big lesson Lion taught me. When talk began of a sibling for Tigger I fought it even though I knew Tigger needed a sibling. I remember telling my mom that I’d be happy with a three to six-month-old. I had a really hard those first months. It was not fun for me. The thought of having to do that again really did not sit well, but I bit the bullet.

After Lion went home, I realized he taught me a great deal of appreciation for newborns. As hard as it was—Lion was a lot more work than Tigger was as a newborn—I would do it again in a heart beat. I would do all that he required for longer if that was what he needed. I would do it for any child of mine. I know that now.

It just goes to show that life really is precious. So as strange as it sounds, enjoy the dirty diapers, the sleepless nights, the crying, the button pushing, the sick days, the messes, the frustration, and everything else life brings because you never know if that’ll be the last moment you have.

ROCKY ROAD by Josi S Kilpack--Book Blast

Rocky Road It was supposed to be a girls’ weekend in scenic St. George, Utah that would include shopping, trying out the local cuisine, and participating in a breast cancer fundraiser. The fact that one of the organizers of the fundraising event, a local doctor, disappeared two months ago was not supposed to be Sadie’s problem. In fact, she refuses to participate in the grassroots investigation her friend Caro, and Caro’s cousin, Tess, have put together prior to her arrival. But then she meets the ex-wife of the missing doctor. How could she not ask a few questions . . . that lead to a few more questions . . . that lead to a small town and yet even more questions. Before she knows it, Sadie is in the middle of yet another murder investigation and trying to piece together a convoluted trail of good intentions, hidden motivations, and philanthropy turned big business.

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Author Josi S. Kilpack Born and raised in Salt Lake City Utah, I met my husband in high-school--well, he wasn't my husband then, just the cute guy in weight training with the permed mullet--and we married in 1993. I wrote my first book while on bed rest with my third child and have gone on to publish 20 novels, the most recent being part of The Sadie Hoffmiller Culinary Mystery Series. I currently live in Willard, Utah with my husband, children, and cat.
 

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Culinary Mysteries by Josi Kilpack

BookBlast Giveaway $50 Amazon Gift Card or Paypal Cash Ends 10/6/13   Open only to those who can legally enter, receive and use an Amazon.com Gift Code or Paypal Cash. Winning Entry will be verified prior to prize being awarded. No purchase necessary. You must be 18 or older to enter or have your parent enter for you. The winner will be chosen by rafflecopter and announced here as well as emailed and will have 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be chosen. This giveaway is in no way associated with Facebook, Twitter, Rafflecopter or any other entity unless otherwise specified. The number of eligible entries received determines the odds of winning. Giveaway was organized by Kathy from I Am A Reader, Not A Writer and sponsored by the author. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW.

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FETCH Kickstarter--4 Days Left!!

Check out this awesome project, FETCH by Adam Glendall Sidwell. He's a fabulour author with a wonderful idea that could use your help. Only 4 days left to help him out! He has my support. How about yours?

Confession Of A Mom

Well, it happened. My mom warned me it would happen someday. I just smiled and nodded. I can’t remember exactly what I thought at the time, but I don’t think I really believed her. Then it happened, and all I could do was laugh.

I was trying to pack for our road trip to my uncle’s funeral. Tigger was helping me by feeding our dog. He dumped the food in the bowl and handed me the scoop. On my way out of the room he asked me if he could do something. I didn’t fully process what he asked but I said yes anyway. (Go ahead and laugh. I’m sure you can see what’s coming.)

By the time I came back into the front room, (Now we don’t always feed our dog inside, however, she doesn’t always decided to eat breakfast and we have a turtle that will devour her food and she goes nuts. Hence why we’ve been feeding her inside as of late.) Tigger had his tracker full of dog food and had dumped it in piles all over the front room. I walked in while he was rolling his tracker over the piles spreading it our even more and crushing it in the process.

My mom’s voice came into my head and as I said, all I could do was laugh. Even now as I think of it I smile. I’ve thought of that over the past several days, and don’t ask me how my brain linked it to this next experience, but it did.

On the road trip, Hubby drove most of the way. I found myself nervous during some parts of the trip. It’s not that I don’t trust Hubby, I do, but I would grab the door, my foot would push down on the nonexistent brake, and I bit my tongue trying not to tell him where he needed to be. For me, that’s a common occurrence whenever he drives. I’m learning though. He’s a good driver. I know he is, but I still tense up.

With a total of thirty hours in the car, I had plenty of time to ponder this issue of mine. I realized that I react that way because I’m not in control. Hubby doesn’t drive the way I do. For one who likes or prefers to be in control, especially in driving, that a hard thing to give up. In fact, for a long time I’ve read a book while he’s driven just so I don’t get so nervous

Now this next conclusion may seem a little out there, but I truly believe that it is related. As much as I say I trust Hubby, in that area (driving) I don’t fully trust him. That’s another hard thing to admit. Since I’ve actually made that connection—giving up control and trust—I’ve had an easier time in the car with him. Because in reality, I trust Hubby with my life. In order for me to truly embrace the gravity of that statement, I need to trust him while he’s driving, or in other words give up my control.

It’s the same way with The Lord. We have to fully trust that he has a plan for each and everyone of us. Whether or not we understand it or want to find the reason for things we need to trust that He knows what’s best. It’s whether or not that we trust that He knows best. It’s not an easy thing, especially when things don’t go the way we think or would like them to go. So the big question is, am I willing to let go of the control and trust that The Lord loves me, is guiding me, and knows what’s best for me? It's something I'm continually working on.

BLACKMOORE by Julianne Donaldson--book review

BLACKMOORE by Julianne Donaldson. This proper romance was a delightful read. Kate's character was easy to emphasize with, and Julianne did a fabulous job of drawing the reader into the setting. I felt like I was walking with Kate through Blackmoore and all her troubles. I enjoyed it from the beginning to the end, although the ending left me wanting more. It is a clean read that any romantic at heart would love.

:) :) :) :)

Kate Worthington knows her heart and she knows she will never marry. Her plan is to travel to India instead—if only to find peace for her restless spirit and to escape the family she abhors. But Kate’s meddlesome mother has other plans. She makes a bargain with Kate: India, yes, but only after Kate has secured—and rejected—three marriage proposals.

Kate journeys to the stately manor of Blackmoore determined to fulfill her end of the bargain and enlists the help of her dearest childhood friend, Henry Delafield. But when it comes to matters of love, bargains are meaningless and plans are changeable. There on the wild lands of Blackmoore, Kate must face the truth that has kept her heart captive. Will the proposal she is determined to reject actually be the one thing that will set her heart free?

Set in Northern England in 1820, Blackmoore is a Regency romance of a young woman struggling to learn to follow her heart with a delicious must-read twist.

*Cover and back cover blurb taken from author's website. Publisher provided a copy, but it didn't effect my review.

MY OWN MR. DARCY by Karey White--Book Blast

My Own Mr. Darcy by Karey White. This sounds fun! Stay tuned for my review.

After being dragged to the 2005 movie Pride and Prejudice by her mother, sixteen-year-old Elizabeth’s life changes when Matthew Macfadyen’s Mr. Darcy appears on the screen. Lizzie falls hard and makes a promise to herself that she will settle for nothing less than her own Mr. Darcy. This ill-advised pledge threatens to ruin any chance of finding true love. During the six intervening years, she has refused to give any interested suitors a chance. They weren’t Mr. Darcy enough. Coerced by her roommate, Elizabeth agrees to give the next interested guy ten dates before she dumps him. That guy is Chad, a kind and thoughtful science teacher and swim coach. While she’s dating Chad, her dream comes true in the form of a wealthy bookstore owner named Matt Dawson, who looks and acts like her Mr. Darcy. Of course she has to follow her dream. But as Elizabeth simultaneously dates a regular guy and the dazzling Mr. Dawson, she’s forced to re-evaluate what it was she loved about Mr. Darcy in the first place.

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Author Karey White Karey White grew up in Utah, Idaho, Oregon, and Missouri. She attended Ricks College and Brigham Young University. Her first novel, Gifted, was a Whitney Award Finalist. She loves to travel, read, bake treats, and spend time with family and friends. She and her husband are the parents of four great children. She teaches summer creative writing courses to young people and is currently working on her next book.
 

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BookBlast Giveaway $50 Amazon Gift Card or Paypal Cash Ends 10/4/13   Open only to those who can legally enter, receive and use an Amazon.com Gift Code or Paypal Cash. Winning Entry will be verified prior to prize being awarded. No purchase necessary. You must be 18 or older to enter or have your parent enter for you. The winner will be chosen by rafflecopter and announced here as well as emailed and will have 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be chosen. This giveaway is in no way associated with Facebook, Twitter, Rafflecopter or any other entity unless otherwise specified. The number of eligible entries received determines the odds of winning. Giveaway was organized by Kathy from I Am A Reader, Not A Writer and sponsored by the author. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW. a Rafflecopter giveaway

JANITORS 3: CURSE OF THE BROOMSTAFF by Tyler Whitesides--Book Review

JANITORS 3: CURSE OF THE BROOMSTAFF by Tyler Whitesides. I have really enjoyed this series. It's been such a fun read, and the idea is so creative. Toxites sucking on kids brain waves. I love it! The adventure keeps getting better and better with each book, and this one is no exception. I never would have imagined that a landfill could hold so many secrets. I would highly recommend this book to anyone of all ages who love a good, fun book. Check out my reviews for Book 1 & Book 2.

:) :) :) :) :)

A secret society of Janitors with wizard-like powers continue their battle, and now, the stakes are even higher. The Bureau of Educational Maintenance is after Alan Zumbro and this time they mean business, deadly business. Spencer, Daisy, and their little team of rebels must find the source of all magical Glop and destroy it before it can destroy the world as we know it. No small task with the BEM and their monster toxites at their heels. It s a wild and dangerous ride as they follow the trail of clues all the way to the hiding place of the mysterious aurans: guardians of a secret landfill. What they discover there will change the way Spencer sees himself, not to mention the fate of the rebels.

Confessions Of A Mom

Death. Died. Lost. Loss.

I’ve decided I don’t like those words, yet it seems to be a knee-jerk reaction in a ways in talking in talking about someone who has passed away. We’ll say something like, “When we lost so and so to cancer.” Or “So and so died yesterday.” Or “The world has lost a great person.” Or someone will say, “I’m sorry for your loss.” I know it’s not a big deal and no one means anything by it, but for some reason it’s bothered me lately.

Death seems so harsh for some reason. So final. I don’t like to think of it in those terms. Lion didn’t die, he passed away. I know, it’s the same thing, but to me it’s a softer way of saying it.

Then you get into the whole Lost/Loss thing. Again, I don’t like to think of Lion as lost. I didn’t lose my son. I know where he is. And he isn’t lost.

So I pulled up the old dictionary with the intent of sharing the definition. Well, I learned something. Lost means pretty much what I thought it did.

• unable to find something
• unable to find one’s way
• saying something has been taken away and cant be recovered
• having perished or been destroyed
• being defeated

I still don’t like that word.

Now, loss on the other hand didn’t mean exactly what I thought it did.

• the state of feeling of grief when deprived of someone or something of value
• a person or thing that is badly missed when lost (there’s that word again.)

The statement, “I’m sorry for your loss,” makes a little more sense now. When a loved one passes away there is a great sense of loss. They will be truly missed and those left behind usually grieve. That makes sense. So, that word’s not so bad. :)

I guess the whole reason this has been at the forefront of my mind is my uncle passed away. Although it was expected, it hit me harder than I thought it would. Then as word has spread, lost and loss have come up again. That’s what prompted my little “research” into those two words and I thought I’d share.

So that’s my little insight that may mean nothing to anyone else, but it has helped me. For all of you out there who have had a loved one pass away or an animal or anything precious to them, I am truly sorry for your loss and my prayers are with you.

DISEMBLANCE by Shanae Branham--Book Review

DISEMBLANCE by Shanae Branham. This book was a very interesting read. I enjoyed the characters and the concept. It's full of unexpected twists and turns that kept me wanting to turn the page. I would recommend it for just about anyone.

:) :) :) :

Jason Tanner’s life has always been different from the ordinary citizen’s. It started when he was an infant and his parents were only teenagers. A computer science prodigy, Lloyd attended MIT but left a pariah in the eyes of the school’s dean—but a computer physics genius in the eyes of his primary investor. Then his theories and ideas created a holographic machine and their world shrunk as contact with the outside world became less and less frequent. A computer prodigy now himself, Jason is about to learn that the world never waits for you if you have the ability to change it: it will come for you. Detective Bruce Durante has been handed the case of the Comfort Killer, a serial killer so named because he appears to abduct terminally ill patients before returning their corpses to their families in refrigerated coffins. When he picks up the trail, it leads straight to the home of Lloyd Tanner. Jason has been living life through the world of Lloyd’s invention and wishing he could carry on a relationship with Boston, the beautiful girl next door. When his father is murdered and framed as the Comfort Killer, he is brought back to reality in a hurry. He is forced to destroy all of the planted evidence—and finds he is being targeted as the killer’s new fall guy. But the secrets of his father’s invention run deep and Jason, his brother Isaac,Boston, the Comfort Killer, and Detective Durante hurtle towards one another on a deadly collision course that leaves everyone’s life hanging in the balance.

Excerpt

Jason lunged, grasping the barrel of the gun with both hands. The large man countered, wrenching it back. Jason yanked, but his attacker would not let go. The gun jerked violently between the two aggressors, twisting back and forth as they struggled for control until—bang!

Jason released his grip. The large man gulped hard and stepped back. Jason felt his knees buckle, and he dropped to the ground. His shirt sagged with blood, his head light. He glanced at Boston. She was screaming and struggling to get free of the ropes that bound her so she could get to him.

“Riggs! What’d you do?” the small man yelled angrily as he sat up rubbing his head. “Paden’s gonna kill you.”

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Author Shanae Branham I am a professional writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and a minor in grammar. I have also attended several years of classes and workshops in screenplay writing at the Los Angeles Screenplay writer’s Expo. I love suspense thrillers and am a master at plot and character development. I enjoy stories with happy endings. I promise all my readers that when they put one of my books down or walk away from one of my movies, they will be enthused with excitement and joy. This does not mean there will not be some sad parts, because you have to feel the bitter in order to understand the sweet. In fact, I have struggled with Dyslexia my whole life, so you can imagine how overjoyed I was when DiSemblance won a Silver metal in the fantasy/science fiction category at the eLit awards in 2012.

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MIDNIGHT MASQUERADE by Marcia Lynn McClure--Book Buzzin'

Midnight Masquerade Stavos Voronin was not as blind-eyed as many nobles and royals. Evony’s physical gestures—even the simplest movement of her hands—revealed that she had not always been destitute. The same was true of the children—of their polished manners and the boy’s knowledge of horses and tendency to be bold and fearless of strangers. Ah yes, Stavos enjoyed a good mystery. After all, interest in the inexplicable circumstances surrounding the royals of Abawyth was the very thing that had lured him to the kingdom—the enigma of Abawyth’s twelve sleepy princesses. And yet now—now his mind was all the more intrigued. Not only was the obscurity of what had caused the profound and baffling torpidity of Abawyth’s princesses laid out before him, but also he found his curiosity intensely piqued over the riddle surrounding the very lovely Evony and her siblings. As Stavos strode through the village resting on the outskirts of Abawyth Castle, his mind reeled with possibilities. His musings were drawn back to why he had come to Abawyth at all—to solve the conundrum surrounding the twelve beautiful princesses of Abawyth kingdom—to solve the seemingly impenetrable crux and thereby win the hand of one of Abawyth’s princesses, as his father, King Letholdus of Ethiarien, had commanded.

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Book Excerpt:

She was tired—oh so very, very tired. Never—not in all her life—had Evony Elorietta known such thoroughgoing fatigue. As she trudged out of the dark woods still veiled in the shadows of early sunrise, out across the expanse of cold, dew-drenched grass and onto the main road of the village, Evony wondered how she would ever endure a day that was only just beginning. Every bone in her body ached—every muscle throbbed in misery, every inch of her flesh begged for respite. Yet there would be none—at least not until she had finished her stitching—finished the near thirteen hours of sewing she now faced under the ever observant, incessantly critical eye of seamstress Agnes Teche.

After such a long, chilled, and sleepless night spent in watching—peering through the darkness and into the rooms of the inn in the woods, until her eyes were too dry to watch any longer—after listening to the shallow, often vile conversations, until her ears hurt from the foul ferment of it—Evony dreaded sewing for Mrs. Teche more than ever before. The woman was a banshee of an employer. And yet, she was grateful Mrs. Teche had had the keen eye to recognize Evony’s superior skills with needle and thread—for how else would Evony have managed to feed Mikol and Tressa—to shelter them—to keep them hidden?

  Author Marcia Lynn McClure Marcia Lynn McClure’s intoxicating succession of novels, novellas, and e-books, has established her as one of the most favored and engaging authors of true romance. Her unprecedented forte in weaving captivating stories of western, medieval, regency, and contemporary amour void of brusque intimacy has earned her the title “The Queen of Kissing.” Marcia, who was born in Albuquerque, New Mexico, has spent her life intrigued with people, history, love, and romance. A wife, mother, grandmother, family historian, poet, and author, Marcia Lynn McClure spins her tales of splendor for the sake of offering respite through the beauty, mirth, and delight of a worthwhile and wonderful story.

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