Confessions Of A Mom

Time. I’ve been struggling with that a lot lately, which is hard for me to admit. Time management has never been a struggle for me. I wouldn’t say that my issue is time management per se, but rather what to do with the time I have.

Someone recently asked me what I like to do with my free time. My first thought was, “What free time?” The more I thought about it though, even if I did have more “free” time my answer would have to be whatever I’m doing at the moment. It’s been a strange feeling because I have truly wanted to just be doing whatever I happened to be participating in at that moment in time. If I’m playing with Tigger, that’s what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. If I’m playing my cello, that’s what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. If I’m writing, that’s what I want to be doing.

The reason it’s strange is in the past there has usually been something I’d rather be doing. I’d rather be playing my cello or writing or reading or anything but what I was doing. Now, it seems to be coming back to wishing I was doing something else rather than what I’m doing. I’ve felt the pressure of really getting back into my writing, but it seems like every time I sit down to work on my novel, my brain isn’t thinking that way or Tigger wakes up from a nap or bills need to be paid or the list goes on.

One of the unwritten rules of writing is to use your spare time to write or schedule the time to write or make the time. I am a firm advocate of making time for whatever you feel is important. I know that can be done. I’ve lived that way for a long time. You can make time for whatever is important.

That brings me to my real struggle at the moment. I want to be writing. I want to be a published author. I want to have that happen. I know what I need to be doing to make it happen, but everything takes a sacrifice and what am I willing to sacrifice to make that happen. Is it worth my time to make it happen? What am I willing to give up?

I see that question written out and I wonder what the answer is. Sometimes I don’t know how I would respond. Are the sacrifices worth it?

A favorite author friend of mine once said in a presentation that your kids are only little once, but writing will always be there. I’ve thought of that many times when Tigger wakes up from a nap earlier than I would like or he doesn’t take a nap or we decided to do something as a family during the time I’ve set aside for writing. Is the sacrifice worth it?

So as I’m struggling to get back into writing and not being successful with getting my brain jump started into the novel I’m working on, I’m continually wondering if I’m doing what I should be doing. Is this my time to be writing or should I be focused on something else? Should I even be pursuing writing?

A week or so ago, all this came out with my writing group I meet with weekly. (Well, not all of it, I was able to sum it up better then.) One of the gals told me that I shouldn’t worry about the writing. I had a traumatic beginning of the year and sometimes we have delayed reactions to things, so don’t worry about it.

I don’t know why it hit me with what she said, but I felt like a burden had been lifted from my shoulders. It’s okay to step back and focus on some other things for the moment. It has made life a lot easier to not have that continual worry. Do I still wonder if the sacrifice is worth it and how much I’m willing to sacrifice? Yes. But, for now I’m good. My writing will happen when it’s supposed to happen and I shouldn’t be beating myself up for not making it happen now. Life to short to live that way.

Again, I’m not sure this post is making sense. You can tell that my thoughts are all scattered, but hopefully you’re able to take something from it. I know that I’m more aware of what I will have to sacrifice to make things happen and I’m always asking myself if it’s worth it. Prayerfully, I’m making the right sacrifices.

MY OWN MR. DARCY by Karey White--Book Review

MY OWN MR. DARCY by Karey White. This romance is based on Pride and Predujice. It was a very cute read. The characters were fun and easy to like. The situation was very creative, and as a Jane Austin fan I was curious to see how this played out. It was interesting, and I enjoyed it. The growth of Lizzie was great to experience, but I wanted her to have stronger reasoning. I loved how it ended and would recommend it to anyone who loves a good, clean romance.

:) :) :)

After being dragged to the 2005 movie Pride and Prejudice by her mother, sixteen-year-old Elizabeth’s life changes when Matthew Macfadyen’s Mr. Darcy appears on the screen. Lizzie falls hard and makes a promise to herself that she will settle for nothing less than her own Mr. Darcy. This ill-advised pledge threatens to ruin any chance of finding true love. During the six intervening years, she has refused to give any interested suitors a chance. They weren’t Mr. Darcy enough.

Coerced by her roommate, Elizabeth agrees to give the next interested guy ten dates before she dumps him. That guy is Chad, a kind and thoughtful science teacher and swim coach. While she’s dating Chad, her dream comes true in the form of a wealthy bookstore owner named Matt Dawson, who looks and acts like her Mr. Darcy. Of course she has to follow her dream. But as Elizabeth simultaneously dates a regular guy and the dazzling Mr. Dawson, she’s forced to re-evaluate what it was she loved about Mr. Darcy in the first place.

*Cover and back cover blurb was taken from the author's website. A review copy was provided, but did not effect my review.

THE HOUSE OF HADES by Rick Riordan--Book Buzzin'

THE HOUSE OF HADES by Rick Riordan. Loving this series and can't wait for this one on October 8, 2013!


At the conclusion of The Mark of Athena, Annabeth and Percy tumble into a pit leading straight to the Underworld. The other five demigods have to put aside their grief and follow Percy’s instructions to find the mortal side of the Doors of Death. If they can fight their way through the Gaea’s forces, and Percy and Annabeth can survive the House of Hades, then the Seven will be able to seal the Doors both sides and prevent the giants from raising Gaea. But, Leo wonders, if the Doors are sealed, how will Percy and Annabeth be able to escape?
They have no choice. If the demigods don’t succeed, Gaea’s armies will never die. They have no time. In about a month, the Romans will march on Camp Half-Blood. The stakes are higher than ever in this adventure that dives into the depths of Tartarus.

Confessions Of A Mom

Through out the week, I had several ideas for posts today. Of course as I sat down to actually write about those ideas, I can’t remember a single one. That’s not entirely true. I remember a few topics I’d like to write about, I just haven’t figured out how to write about them yet. They can be touchy subjects and I want to make sure that I do it well.

Life is a precious thing. Don’t waste it. Don’t hold grudges. Tell your family how much you love them. Show them that love. Live each day to it’s fullest. I know it sounds cliché to say treat each moment like it’s your last, but I’ve really grown to appreciate that saying. You never know. Life has a way of throwing curve balls and you just never know.

As I watched Tigger this week, I found myself enjoying the little things more and more. When I got frustrated, I tried to remember that you just never know and I was blessed to be a little more patient. I know I’ve been greatly blessed to have more patience and understanding with Tigger. I’ve needed it and have come to count on that blessing as he’s pushing buttons, because you just never know. Even tonight, as he’s fighting sleep time, I thought myself of the prophet who talked about his infant son crying so hard he threw up and how he told his wife he’d take care of him one night. He didn’t know that would be one of the last times he’d hold his son before his son went back home.

I know it’s crazy to think that way, but it sure has helped me appreciate Tigger more . . . even his fits of crying and stubbornness and button pushing and everything else a two-year-old throws at you. In a way, it’s made life a little more pleasant.

That goes along with a big lesson Lion taught me. When talk began of a sibling for Tigger I fought it even though I knew Tigger needed a sibling. I remember telling my mom that I’d be happy with a three to six-month-old. I had a really hard those first months. It was not fun for me. The thought of having to do that again really did not sit well, but I bit the bullet.

After Lion went home, I realized he taught me a great deal of appreciation for newborns. As hard as it was—Lion was a lot more work than Tigger was as a newborn—I would do it again in a heart beat. I would do all that he required for longer if that was what he needed. I would do it for any child of mine. I know that now.

It just goes to show that life really is precious. So as strange as it sounds, enjoy the dirty diapers, the sleepless nights, the crying, the button pushing, the sick days, the messes, the frustration, and everything else life brings because you never know if that’ll be the last moment you have.

ROCKY ROAD by Josi S Kilpack--Book Blast

Rocky Road It was supposed to be a girls’ weekend in scenic St. George, Utah that would include shopping, trying out the local cuisine, and participating in a breast cancer fundraiser. The fact that one of the organizers of the fundraising event, a local doctor, disappeared two months ago was not supposed to be Sadie’s problem. In fact, she refuses to participate in the grassroots investigation her friend Caro, and Caro’s cousin, Tess, have put together prior to her arrival. But then she meets the ex-wife of the missing doctor. How could she not ask a few questions . . . that lead to a few more questions . . . that lead to a small town and yet even more questions. Before she knows it, Sadie is in the middle of yet another murder investigation and trying to piece together a convoluted trail of good intentions, hidden motivations, and philanthropy turned big business.

Amazon * Barnes & Noble

 

Author Josi S. Kilpack Born and raised in Salt Lake City Utah, I met my husband in high-school--well, he wasn't my husband then, just the cute guy in weight training with the permed mullet--and we married in 1993. I wrote my first book while on bed rest with my third child and have gone on to publish 20 novels, the most recent being part of The Sadie Hoffmiller Culinary Mystery Series. I currently live in Willard, Utah with my husband, children, and cat.
 

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Culinary Mysteries by Josi Kilpack

BookBlast Giveaway $50 Amazon Gift Card or Paypal Cash Ends 10/6/13   Open only to those who can legally enter, receive and use an Amazon.com Gift Code or Paypal Cash. Winning Entry will be verified prior to prize being awarded. No purchase necessary. You must be 18 or older to enter or have your parent enter for you. The winner will be chosen by rafflecopter and announced here as well as emailed and will have 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be chosen. This giveaway is in no way associated with Facebook, Twitter, Rafflecopter or any other entity unless otherwise specified. The number of eligible entries received determines the odds of winning. Giveaway was organized by Kathy from I Am A Reader, Not A Writer and sponsored by the author. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW.

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FETCH Kickstarter--4 Days Left!!

Check out this awesome project, FETCH by Adam Glendall Sidwell. He's a fabulour author with a wonderful idea that could use your help. Only 4 days left to help him out! He has my support. How about yours?

Confession Of A Mom

Well, it happened. My mom warned me it would happen someday. I just smiled and nodded. I can’t remember exactly what I thought at the time, but I don’t think I really believed her. Then it happened, and all I could do was laugh.

I was trying to pack for our road trip to my uncle’s funeral. Tigger was helping me by feeding our dog. He dumped the food in the bowl and handed me the scoop. On my way out of the room he asked me if he could do something. I didn’t fully process what he asked but I said yes anyway. (Go ahead and laugh. I’m sure you can see what’s coming.)

By the time I came back into the front room, (Now we don’t always feed our dog inside, however, she doesn’t always decided to eat breakfast and we have a turtle that will devour her food and she goes nuts. Hence why we’ve been feeding her inside as of late.) Tigger had his tracker full of dog food and had dumped it in piles all over the front room. I walked in while he was rolling his tracker over the piles spreading it our even more and crushing it in the process.

My mom’s voice came into my head and as I said, all I could do was laugh. Even now as I think of it I smile. I’ve thought of that over the past several days, and don’t ask me how my brain linked it to this next experience, but it did.

On the road trip, Hubby drove most of the way. I found myself nervous during some parts of the trip. It’s not that I don’t trust Hubby, I do, but I would grab the door, my foot would push down on the nonexistent brake, and I bit my tongue trying not to tell him where he needed to be. For me, that’s a common occurrence whenever he drives. I’m learning though. He’s a good driver. I know he is, but I still tense up.

With a total of thirty hours in the car, I had plenty of time to ponder this issue of mine. I realized that I react that way because I’m not in control. Hubby doesn’t drive the way I do. For one who likes or prefers to be in control, especially in driving, that a hard thing to give up. In fact, for a long time I’ve read a book while he’s driven just so I don’t get so nervous

Now this next conclusion may seem a little out there, but I truly believe that it is related. As much as I say I trust Hubby, in that area (driving) I don’t fully trust him. That’s another hard thing to admit. Since I’ve actually made that connection—giving up control and trust—I’ve had an easier time in the car with him. Because in reality, I trust Hubby with my life. In order for me to truly embrace the gravity of that statement, I need to trust him while he’s driving, or in other words give up my control.

It’s the same way with The Lord. We have to fully trust that he has a plan for each and everyone of us. Whether or not we understand it or want to find the reason for things we need to trust that He knows what’s best. It’s whether or not that we trust that He knows best. It’s not an easy thing, especially when things don’t go the way we think or would like them to go. So the big question is, am I willing to let go of the control and trust that The Lord loves me, is guiding me, and knows what’s best for me? It's something I'm continually working on.