Showing posts with label misc. Show all posts
Showing posts with label misc. Show all posts

Friday, September 30, 2016

I'm offended

It's been awhile since I've written a blog post like this, and I'm probably opening myself up to some criticism but I'm feeling like I need to share my viewpoint on things. Especially in light of some opinions I've seen posted about different presidential candidates.

This is not a political post, at least not in my eyes. I'm not saying who I think you should vote for. I'm not sticking up for one candidate verses another. You might say you've figured out which way I'm leaning, but to be honest, at this point in the ball game I have no idea. I'm not thrilled with either choice. That's probably about as political as I'm going to get.

What I really want to talk about is offense. How's that for being subtle? :) There was a time in my life when I would walk on egg shells around a particular person because I was afraid of offending them. It felt like anything I said could and would be taken as me trying to offend them when in reality it was the furthest thing from my mind. It became so stifling and hard to live that I finally stopped doing it. The moment I allowed myself to not worry about whether or not something I said was offensive was very freeing. I knew in my heart that I wasn't intending to offend someone. I wasn't out to cause hurt. I wasn't purposely trying to say hurtful things. And I couldn't control how someone would react to what I would say. I began to take control of what I could control and let the rest go.

It feels like a lot of what is being said in the media about a particular someone is that they are abrasive and offensive. Here's the thing about offense, it's a choice. Even if the person meant to be hurtful, that doesn't mean I have to believe them. It doesn't mean I have to take those words to heart, internalize them, and allow them to shape and affect who I am. That's my choice. Remember the saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me?" I believe that.

Now don't get me wrong, words can hurt and they do hurt. But again, do I allow them to shape who I am and what I think of myself? No. Do I think about them and sometimes cry about them? Yes, but I give myself a time limit and when that time is up, I do my best to push it aside. Those words are not who I am.

A friend recently posted that she's afraid of the influence of someone on society because of their viewpoints toward women. She's afraid for her daughters and what that influence will do toward their future husbands. Even if these viewpoints trickle down into society, which I have no doubt they may, are we going to allow them to shape who we are and who our kids think they are? This is where I firmly believe the teaching of parents comes into play. 

As a parent, I firmly believe it is my job to teach my children appropriate viewpoints toward others. In fact, in a the general women's conference this past weekend, Sister Bonnie Oscarson quoted President Russell M. Nelson saying, "...we need women who have a bedrock understanding of the doctrine of Christ and who will use that understanding to teach and help raise a sin-resistant generation."

This tells us that it is our duty to teach our children what is right, not society. We should not depend on society to educate our children on correct principals not only religiously but socially as well. Because they will teach them incorrect ideas. So if society has a less than stellar viewpoint of women, it is our job to educate our precious little ones on what is an appropriate viewpoint of women. We need to teach them how to stand up for that and show the world how women should be treated. Teach them that it's okay to think differently. It's okay to voice our opinions. It's okay to stand up for the harder right even though friends are choosing the easier wrong. Society doesn't dictate how they should feel and what they should think.

Personally, I will not allow society to dictate that to my children. Do they still have their agency? Yes. I can teach them the best to my ability and they still may decide to go their own way, but it won't be because I didn't do my best to teach them.

Some may say that I don't have the same perspective and fear because I don't have a daughter. I may not have a daughter but I have sons who will be dating and marrying someone else's daughter and I will teach them the appropriate way to view women and the appropriate way to treat a woman.

So when someone is speaking to you and you feel those stirrings in your gutt saying you don't like what is being said, what are you going to do? If someone speaks harshly, is abrasive, is rude, says things that aren't PC, speaking offensively, how are you going to react? Are you going to allow those hurtful things to fester inside of you? Are you going to allow yourself to be offended and in turn say hurtful things toward others? How are you going to choose to react?

What's interesting is I've found that more often than not, the people that are extremely offended are those who are outside of the conversation. It's not the people who the comments were directed toward. Most of the time those individuals are forgiving, kind, gracious, and respectful to whomever said the harsh words. It's relatives, friends, co-workers, and other outside acquaintances that are the most offended. Again, this is just my opinion. Yours may differ. This is just what I've noticed in my own observations.

Please don't take this as I'm perfect in this area. Words still affect me. It's a daily battle it seems like for me not to be offended, but in the end I come to the same conclusion. I will not be acted upon, I will act. I will choose not to be offended because the other person cannot choose for me, even if their intent is to offend, I will not let them tell me how to feel. How are you going to choose to react?

Saturday, June 6, 2015

CONFESSIONS OF A MOM

I found this plant last week for an extremely discounted price. Normally, I would pass by something that looks like this. It's broken, beraggled, brown in some parts and it just didn't look healthy. I kind of rolled my eyes and wondered why they were even trying to sell it. I'm mean really, who would buy a plant that looked like this?

But as I looked at other plants I kept being drawn back to this one. Maybe it was because I felt a lot like this poor plant: broken, stressed, overwhelmed, browning, and just down right ugly in a way. In the end, I picked up the plant because I felt like it just needed some TLC and I was just the person that could do such a thing.

I felt lighter and happier as I purchased the plant and was exited to get it repotted when I got home. I couldn't wait to see how my plant would thrive with some TLC and positive vibes. I also got to thinking about how often we might feel like this plant: a little broken, a little brown, a little down and out, in need of some TLC. Who do we turn to when we have those thoughts and feelings? What do we do?

A lot of times I'm not sure who to turn to. First, I have a hard time admitting when I feel that way. I have a hard time asking for help. Second, I realized that I need to turn to my Savior more when I feel that way.

Another reason I bought the plant is this . . .


Do you see it? The little light green part at the bottom. New growth. New life. New hope. So whenever we are downhearted there is always new hope to be found somewhere. Sometimes it's buried deep within us or deep within the situation, but there's always hope. Then, if we nurture that new hope, that new growth, it will grow and develop into something lovely that will eventually take over the old, broken, browning part of us.

So here's my happy plant now. I'm excited for the new growth on it. I'm excited for the opportunity to watch it grow. I'm excited for the lesson that I was able to learn from this little guy. I am loved, but sometimes we all need a little more TLC in our lives. I hope that when we find we need it, that we'll be able to turn to those who love us, including our Savior.

And can I just say . . . How blessed I am. I hope everyone has a great day! :)

Saturday, April 11, 2015

CONFESSIONS OF A MOM #choosekindness

I have seen many acts of unkindness this week and it makes me very sad. There's a phrase I posted on Instragram this week that I think if we all keep in mind will help everyone around us.

You never know what the person next to you is going through. Choose Kindness.

How do we know if the driver on the road who is getting under our skin isn't a new driver? Or someone grieving? Or someone under extreme stress?

How do we know if the person living next who us you rushes inside and completely ignores you (in your opinion) isn't upset because of a medical dignosis? Or received bad news from work or a family member? Or is just having a horrible day?

How do we know what is the real reason behind the tears we see in someone's eyes?

The truth of the matter is we don't. Would it hurt us to look outside of ourselves and be kind to someone else? You can tell I'm on this kindness campaign. There are so many people around me who are suffering for many, many different reasons and I feel helpless. The only thing I can do in a lot of cases is be kind. Whether that be listening, providing a meal, holding a door, smiling, calling, sympathizing. Sometimes it really is the simple things that are needed. I really believe if we all looked around and did something simple it would make the world a better place.

So for now, choose to be kind. You just never know . . .

Saturday, October 11, 2014

CONFESSIONS OF A MOM

Have you ever relived a past experience and just kicked yourself for how you reacted or what you said or even what you did? I’ve done a lot of that these past few weeks. How I wish I could turn back time for many things, some of them more recent than others. I’m not sure how to stop those things from happening. Sometimes I wish my memory wasn’t very good (although that’s dwindling with having kids). Not that I’m bragging on having a good memory. Frankly I’m surprised at what I remember and what I don’t. It can be the tiniest, little detail of something that happened years ago for something that I can recall, but I can’t remember what I ate yesterday. :)

Sometimes I have a hard time letting things go and I’m thinking that’s why I seem to relive all the stupid moments of life. I’m working on it but it doesn’t make it any easier. As long as we’re learning from the past right . . . ?

And I’m doing it right now. I had a thought for what to write next and between the time I had the thought and my fingers began to move, I’ve already forgotten. :( So frustrating.

Anyway, along with reliving those moments, I feel a bit like it’s been a Mommy’s fail week. It’s most likely nothing more than being incredible tired and worn out, but I feel that way nonetheless. I think what triggered it is reading someone’s post and hearing a couple other people with newborns talk about how their babies are sleeping through the night at 4 weeks or they get a 12 hour night at 3 months and how it was worth sticking to a schedule and all that. Can I just say that’s incredible frustrating too?

I don’t know how many of you out there have children like that. If you do, you are very blessed. If you don’t, you are blessed too but in different ways. I do not have children like that. And I don’t care how many people say every baby should be able to sleep through the night and it’s something that’s trained and it’s not up to the child but the parent or that it’s a copout to say that some kids are better sleepers than others. (I’m sure I’m missing some of the sayings.) It’s not true. And you may say that I’m wrong in that statement, but that’s my belief.

Here’s why.

I did everything by the book with Tigger, and I mean everything. I had him on a schedule. I followed everything little thing the books said to do to get your baby to sleep through the night by a certain age. It didn’t work. Tigger didn’t sleep through the night for a long time, and even now I’m very grateful every night he sleeps without waking up. He wouldn’t sleep without me holding him.

Again, people will say that’s my fault. Just remember, I did everything by the book. I didn’t hold him all the time. I let him cry it out. I did it all and he still didn’t/wouldn’t sleep.

So with Bear I’ve tried things a little bit differently thinking it might help. It hasn’t. I’ve tried to get him on a consitent schedule and he flat out won’t follow it. Maybe I’m not good at letting him scream it out but to me if a child is hungry you feed him even if it’s not according to “the schedule.” And everytime I feed him he eats an entire meal. It’s not like he’s snacking.

Anyway, it can be irritating when people say things like that. To me, every child is different and some children are sleepers. Others are not. Bear still doesn’t have things figured out, although he’s doing better. It’s one of those things.

I am very blessed though. I have three handsome boys and a wonderful husband with family close by. Life is good, even through the eyes of a very sleep deprived person. :)

Saturday, September 20, 2014

CONFESSIONS OF A MOM

Well, here are the side-by-sides that I promised. Now that I look at them, they don't look so much alike. I'll be interested to see what you think. No, they are not in birth order and I tried to choose the pictures with the same pose or at least close too it. :)


















This has been an interesting week. Bear is doing better at night when I stop and think about it, but I ended up sick so everything just feels like it's much worse than it is. I find myself trying desperately not to wish away this precious time. As I'm sure you know, time doesn't stop. I look at Tigger and shake my head. Where did the time go? So I know I can't wish away that time with Bear, but man it would sure be nice to get a little bit more than a few hours of broken sleep.

I have also been reminded of my previous statement of, "Sleep is highly overrated." I'd like to offically apologize for that. I am learning the value of sleep and learning to appreciate it much more than I ever have before. All I can say is it could be much worse. I am very grateful for what I have. I shouldn't complain.

Really that's been the week, fighting with myself to not wish time away at the same time I'm praying Bear will get just a little bit older so he'll begin to sleep longer at night. Everyone says it gets better, and I know it does, it's just hard to see in the middle of everything. Perspective. I need to remember perspective.

There's one other thing I've battled with this week. I know I don't feel well. I know my fuse is shorter than I'd like it to be. I know the little things are going to be the things that do me in. But even though I know this and I tell myself to keep my voice down (not much of an option right now since it's taking a vacation without me) and to not lose my cool I still do. I can be losing it at the same time my brain is telling me to take a chill pill. It's an odd feeling. I haven't figured out how to counteract it or to even follow what my brain is telling me.

It would be very easy to point blame. In fact that's what I do. I don't feel well so it's okay. I know my fuse will be short so it's okay. It's because of . . . I can sit here all day and come up with the excuses but in the end it's still me that has to take responsibility for how I'm behaving, just like what I expect from Tigger and eventually Bear. Take responsibility. It's a hard thing but somehow I'll figure out how to do it.

Anyway, let me know what you think of the pictures and have a fabulous week! :)

Saturday, September 13, 2014

CONFESSIONS OF A MOM

“If you don’t do this by the count of three, you’re in a time out.”

Have you caught yourself saying that at some point in time? Or any variation of that statement? That’s been a very common phrase in our house over the last little while. It’s been interesting as we’ve worked on how to communicate and get through to Tigger. I also saw a situation from a different vantage point the other day too.

For the longest time I have shared my belief that kids need to be held accountable, they need to be allowed to make mistakes so they can learn, and they need to have consequences both good and bad. I remember thinking how parents just needed to stick to their guns and follow through. Not too much to ask, right?

Well, here’s what happened at our house.

I was getting Bear ready to get in the car. I asked Tigger to go brush his teeth and we were going to head to an open gym session. After I had everything ready for Bear and he was in the carseat, Tigger comes around the corner. “Come see what I did.”

Not exactly sure what I was going to be walking into, I follow Tigger into the bathroom where he shows me his artwork all over the counter. He had used toothpaste. I look at him and ask him if he made a good choice or a bad choice because we’ve already had the conversation of not squeezing the toothpaste all over the counter before. He responded appropriately and then asked, “Do I still get to go to open gym?” All I could say was, “I’m not sure.”

I ended up calling Hubby to ask him what he thought the consequence should be. Deep down I knew what it would be, I just didn’t want to deal with the aftermath. Of course Hubby agreed and I got to tell Tigger that he would not get to go to open gym. What I didn’t expect was what his reaction would do to me.

Tigger immediately cried and wailed, “I want to go to open gym!” “But I really want to go!” It broke my heart to see how upset he was. He had looked forward to open gym for awhile and now we were within minutes of going and he lost the opportunity to go. He was heart broken. I wanted to wrap him in a hug and take him to open gym. I wanted to make him happy. I wanted to give in.

In the middle of the fit, I found myself debating inside. If I give in, he won’t learn the lesson and he’ll think he can get away with more things. If I give in the morning will go much smoother and he’ll stop crying. I want him to be happy, but I want him to learn, but . . . It was then I saw how and why parents give in and children get what they want even they probably shouldn’t.

At the end, we came to a compromise. Tigger agreed to no TV for the rest of the day and the next day in order to go to open gym. It worked well but I learned a very valuable lesson. One, don’t judge. :) Two, there’s most likely a compromise that can and will satisfy both ends. Three, stick to your guns.


Whoever said parenting was easy, lied. It’s hard, especially on no sleep and screaming children. Who am I kidding, it’s even hard without those parameters. But we do the best we can and learn as we go. I am very blessed to have three wonderful boys. Even though one is pushing buttons hard, another is on the otherside, and the third isn’t sleeping, I love them all and wouldn’t trade it for the world!

Side by side pictures next week . . . promise!

Saturday, September 6, 2014

CONFESSIONS OF A MOM

I didn’t think the weeks could go by any faster and yet now they seem to be really flying by. Bear doesn’t seem like he’s only three weeks old. It feels like forever and he’s acting much older than he really is. I’m seeing just how grown up Tigger is and as happy as I am about it, I’m not too thrilled at the same time. Then all of it is making miss Lion even more.

With Lion, it felt like once I had mentally wrapped my head around things and had begun to develop a plan on how we were going to take care of our sweet little one as well as Tigger, Lion decided it was time to go home. I think I’ve been a little bit afraid of that with Bear. Tigger and I took Bear to the doctor at eight days. I didn’t put my thoughts together until recently on that. In a way, after we took Bear to the doctor I felt like I could wrap my head around things a little bit better. Maybe it is because we got past the eight day mark with Bear. (Lion stuck around for eight days.) I’m not exactly sure, but I feel like I’m adapting better now.

Bear still has days and nights mixed up but I’m a little more okay with that. I feel like I’m able to get more into a routine, or at least attempt to get more into it. I’m slowly adding things week by week and I know that eventually things will fall into place. It’s an interesting, comforting feeling.

I also had the wonderful priveldge or attending the sealing of a friend’s adopted little boy to them for time and all eternity. I was in tears before I even got to the temple. I’m not sure if it’s because of the peace and serenity that is always present at the temple or if I was feeling Lion close by. I’m sure it was a combination of both. What a wonderful blessing temples are. Through those sacred ordinances I know I will see Lion again. I look forward to that day.


This has been a learning week as I’m sure each week will be. I’m still working on patience with Tigger as he is testing the limits of things as well as my patience in everything around me. I feel like we, as a family, are beginning the craziness of the holiday season early. So, strap on your seatbelt and enjoy the ride!

Friday, February 15, 2013

Our Little Lion

Here are some more pictures of our sweet little lion, Preston Andrus Harris.






For more information about our son, please visit
http://www.carepages.com/carepages/257353/invitations/1931129/427a96ea5038398c1f8050baa25cfbf680fa01e1?client_code=bannerhealth&ipc=miv

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Book Review Confession Time

So, I'm not on top of things, in case you haven't already figured that out. I still have a few books I haven't gotten the reviews done for from last year, but honestly, reading has slowed down. With the new baby coming soon, I've put my focus on finishing my novel, which I'm proud to say I've completed. Now, for the query letter and getting it submitted before the baby comes. :)

That being said, I will do my best to have the Tuesday Book Buzzin' up, as well as a Thursday Book Review, but I'm asking you to bare with me for the next several weeks. Gotta love life and the the curve balls it throws you!

Until next time . . . Happy Reading and Happy Writing!! :)

Saturday, December 29, 2012

2012 Year in Review


By Bonnie Harris

This post almost didn't happen. I attempted to do this a few days ago and found that my blog "didn't exist." News to me. After doing some research, I found that my blog had been hijacked. It took a lot longer than I would have liked to recover everything, and it got me thinking about time. It's such a precious commodity, and I know I'm not the only one who wishes for more. So, why would someone spend time hijacking other people's blogs or hacking into accounts or any of that other stuff? I'm not sure I see the benifit in any of that. Then again, I'm not the one spending the time on it.

Time led to thinking about the past year. Have I/Did I use my time in the wisest way possible? 
Answer: I definitely didn't spend my time taking over other people's accounts, but I think I did all right. Overall, I think I did well. I think everyone does well, but we can always do better. 

  • How did you do with your time this year?
  • Did you accomplish what you wanted to?
  • Did those priorities change?
  • Do you feel good about what was done this year?


These are all questions I'm sure most people think about around this time (or variations of the same questions). So, to give you a jump start—in other words, confession time.

I got close to accomplishing my goals this year. Did they change? Yes. Was I able to keep up with the changes? No. Do I wish I got more done? Yes, but I learned a lot.

  • I learned that it's OK to change directions.
  • I learned it's OK to decide that a particular goal just isn't going to happen and to let it go.
  • I learned how to prioritize better. Sort of. :)
  • I learned that life is short, and sometimes you have to put the keyboard away and say, "Oh well. It's not what's important today."
  • I learned that just because I started doing it well at the beginning of the year doesn't mean that I will be able to finish it as strong as I'd like
Who knows if any of this makes sense to anyone. Hopefully, you get the idea. But as I look forward to the next year and it's challenges, I'm able to do so with new understanding and strategies and purpose. I wish I could say I knew what was going to happen and that I would accomplish everything, but I can't. That's something I've had a very difficult time admitting. Now that I have, though, it sure makes things easier to take in bite size pieces.

So as you take a look at the year, remember that it's OK if things didn't get finished. Look at what was accomplished. Remember you are strong and can overcome anything placed in your way. Remember that you are not alone.

Happy New Year! Happy Year-in-review! Happy Writing!

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Tis the Season



I had several things run through my head and I was figuring out what to post today. In light of the tradegy that happened yesterday, my thoughts and prayers are with the families of those victims, as well as those who have been effected by the shooting.

Tis the season for decorations, stress, shopping, lights, wrapping, cooking, cards, more stress, deals, family, and more. The Christmas season is being commericalized earlier and earlier each year. I was shocked, but shouldn't have been, when stores began putting out Christmas stuff before Halloween. But that's only part of it. I feel like, in a way, we get so caught up in the hustle and the bustle that we forget the true meaning of Christmas.

It's not meant to be so crazy. President Thomas S Monson, president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, recently talked about Christmas being love. Remembering those around us. Slowing down and taking the time to remember the Savior. It's a wonderful talk you can view here.

Personally, as a family we've decided to focus more on teh Savior. My son has loved all the Christmas lights that appear this time of year. It wasn't until I really began looking and listening to what he sees that I realized all that he's talking about are the snowmen, Christmas trees, and Santa Clause's. There are hardly any nativities around. So, I tried to only put our nativities out in the house, and any chance I get, I talk to him about baby Jesus.

I just think during this time of craziness, that we can take a step back and remember others. Remember the Savior and his sacrifice. Remember to love each other.

Merry Christmas.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

To Outline or Not To Oultine, What a Question


I never outline. I hate it. My husband would tell me to not use the word never because it rarely is accurate. Well, I can honestly say, I NEVER outline. Even in school, when an outline was required for a project, I would finish the assignment first, and then write the outline. I haven’t figured out if that’s because I never really understood how to create one or I didn’t know what I wanted to do or the real reason I never outlined.
Many workshops I’ve attended have talked about two kinds of writers, discovery writers and outliners. I most definitely would be a discovery person. There is a certain thrill to sitting down to a blank screen and letting the story flow, having only a general idea of what I think might happen. For the most part, I know how I want to start and where I am going to end, but the middle . . . who knows. That’s where to fun is, in my opinion.
In one of my novels, I had a character literally (well, literally as in the story literally) walk into a scene. My heart pounded, I sat up straight, and cocked my head as I asked, “Now who are you? And what role do you play in this story?” It was so much fun to see this character develop and weave through different scenes and I get chills even thinking about it. :)
Part of me thinks that outliners look down on discovery writers. That most likely is my own assumption, and assumptions always get me in trouble, but for a long time, that’s how I’ve felt. All those outline, Hero’s Journey, Snowflake method type blogs or workshops I’ve sat through, I’ve listened only half-heartedly because after all, I know my style and it’s not outlining. I will NEVER use an outline.
Well, . . . *clears throat* . . . here’s where I watch the pigs fly across the room or eat my shoe or whatever other cliche you’d like to insert. Since I’ve become a mom, I have found my time somewhat preoccupied and my writing time, shall we say . . . limited. I know, crazy, right? Who would have ever thought. (Those of you who smiled at me when I was talking about how I’d still have time, feel free to say, “I told you so.”) 
I am beginning to see how an outline might actually be beneficial. It will help me use my time more wisely so when I do end up with a block amount of time to write, I’m not staring at the computer screen, watching the time tick by, and freaking out that I won’t be able to get my fabulous idea on the page before it leaves because I might not remember it later.   With an outline, I have the fabulous idea already mapped out and can refer back to it whenever I need to. I’m hoping lightning doesn’t strike. :) That’s not to say that I am jumping right in on the outlining bandwagon, but I am very eagerly going through all my notes, trying to find the outlining method that will work best for me.
I have an idea of what I’m going to try to use, but I’d love to hear what your favorite methods are. I will share what I know (and what I research) of those methods in future blog posts. Then if you are a discovery writer who might want to venture over to the world of outlining, you’ll have some different ways to choose from.
In the meantime, Happy Writing!

Saturday, April 21, 2012

A Tribute to Grandpa

Death is something that no one can escape. It has touched everyone in some way, whether it be a family member, friend, neighbor, acquaintance, celebrity, or pet. When our lives have crossed paths with death, it tends to be a time of reflection on our own lives as well as those who are no longer with us. These silent or spoken tributes help shape our way of living, at least for the next little while.
My grandpa recently passed away. It has brought many things to my mind. As my family and I made arrangements to attend the funeral, the reason for us leaving town brought much sympathy and sorrow. Faces of friends and neighbors would fall as they expressed their thoughts. “I’m sorry for your loss,” and “You have our/my sympathy,” were the most common phrases spoken. I’ve pondered what people said as of late, and found their first reaction didn’t make sense to me.
I understand those kind of sediments for an unexpected loss or the loss of a young person, but for a passing that is expected and actually a blessing, those phrases left me wondering. Now, I realize that that specific information was unknown to most people and some grandparents are young and their deaths are unexpected, but at the time I hadn’t thought of that. 
The more I’ve thought about it, maybe it’s the fact that I believe in an afterlife, and I know I will see my grandpa again, that have made the sorrowful sympathies unnecessary, in my eyes. I know that he’s been released from a state of pain in a sense, since he’s been sick for years. Maybe it’s a combination of all of that, and if people had all of that information up front, their responses might be different. Then again, a time of sorrow can be a time of celebration as well.
Those thoughts were ever present during his viewing and funeral service. What began as a sad moment, turned into a happy reunion since I saw cousins I hadn’t seen in years. We visited, laughed, and caught up on each others lives. Memories of what we loved about Grandpa came out, memories I had forgotten about—like riding in a wagon down the hill (which seemed so huge at the time) in Grandpa’s back yard or climbing up the cherry tree or that he loved Almond Joys or how he would laugh many different ways just because.
A twenty-one gun salute and the presentation of a flag reminded me of his service to this great nation. It also told of the many times Grandpa performed the same service to other veterans who have gone before him.
The luncheon, after the dedication of the grave was full of great-grandchildren running around, screaming, laughing, and having a wonderful time with each other. Grandpa’s legacy filled the church hall with joyful noises (no matter what else parents may call it). It was wonderful to witness the love that has grown from him.
So, I am adding my tribute to those already witnessed, to a wonderful, loving, Grandpa.
I find it interesting that as we think back on the time we’ve shared with people, often times it’s the little things that we roll our eyes at that are the first thoughts that come to mind. And in turn, it is those things we will miss the most.
  • I loved the way Grandpa squeezed my cheeks so hard and then kissed me on the lips in greeting and farewell.
  • I loved how Grandpa sat and listened to our visits, hardly saying a word, until it was time to leave and we were headed out the door. Then Grandpa started talking and asking questions, inevitably elongating our visit for up to another hour or so.
  • I loved watching Grandpa put the same puzzle piece in the exact same spot time and time again, even though it didn’t fit.
  • I loved how Grandpa put horse radish on everything, and when I say everything I mean EVERYTHING. We’d all say, “Ew! Gross!” as he scooped up a large helping of horse radish, dumped it on whatever, and put it in his mouth, grinning from ear to ear.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Self Publishing


I had so many great ideas for this post, but the minute I opened up the new post . . . they all flew away. So here's something that caught my attention on Facebook. Kelly Sonnack, literary agent for Andrea Brown Literary Agency (she also came to the ANWA conference in 2011), posted this link from the New York Times, with the comment that basically said, something to think about. I clicked on the article and boy is it something to think about. I haven't decided how I feel about it yet, since this is a debate every author, I'm sure, is having. What's your opinion?

Young Writers Dazzle Publisher (Mom and Dad)

Sara Jorde for The New York Times
Ben Heckmann, 14, wrote two books about a fictional band.
The television news feature about Ben Heckmann, an eighth grader from Farmington, Minn., was breathless in its praise. “At 14 years old, he has accomplished something many adults can’t achieve,” the reporter said. “Ben is a twice-published author.”
Sara Jorde for The New York Times
Ben reading from one of his books at his school in Farmington, Minn.
As the camera rolled, Ben described how “the first time I held my own book, it was just this amazing feeling.” Then he shared a lesson for others his age, saying, “You can basically do anything if you put your mind to it.”
But his two “Velvet Black” books, depicting the antics of a fictional rock band, were not plucked from a pile of manuscripts by an eagle-eyed publisher. They were self-published, at a cost to Ben’s parents of $400 — money they have more than made up by selling 700 copies.
Over the past five years, print-on-demand technology and a growing number of self-publishing companies whose books can be sold online have inspired writers of all ages to bypass the traditional gatekeeping system for determining who can call himself a “published author.”
They include hundreds of children and teenagers who are self-publishing books each year — a growing corner of the book world that raises as many questions about parenting as it does about publishing.
The mothers and fathers who foot the bill say they are simply trying to encourage their children, in the same way that other parents buy gear for a promising lacrosse player or ship a Broadway aspirant off to theater camp.
But others see the blurring of the line between publishing and self-publishing as a lost opportunity to teach children about adversity and perseverance.
The young authors themselves, raised in an era of blogging and equal-opportunity Twitter feeds, take the notion of self-publishing in stride.
“The world is changing — it’s possible for people to do almost anything they set their minds to,” said Elizabeth Hines (pen name: E. S. Hines), a high school junior from Annapolis, Md., whose debut novel, “The Last Dove,” was recently released by the self-publishing imprint Xlibris.
She has other projects going, too. “The Black Panther,” Part 2 of what she is calling the Trilogy of Aeir, will be published soon (at a cost to her parents of $2,700 per title). She has also written the first two books in a separate fictional quintet and begun a work of historical fiction set in 1500s Scotland.
Elizabeth’s parents debated the merits of self-publishing, said her mother, Jacqueline. Would her writing be criticized? Would she “get a little too much of a sense of self?” They finally decided that “self-esteem usually is not a bad thing for kids this age,” Mrs. Hines said.
Camille Mancuso, 12, of Columbus, Ohio, composed “Through the Eyes of Eak,” about the 72-year-old Delphi from the world of Phea, during breaks from playing Jane Banks in the touring production of Mary Poppins (by the time her book was published, Camille was on Broadway). Drew Beasley, 10, an Upper West Sider with an array of acting and voiceover credits to his name, published “Growing Up ... With Jack” last year to inspire children to be kind to special-needs kids.
Mac Bowers, 15, self-published the 112-page “Running Scared” through iUniverse in February. The hardcover sells for $11.63 on Amazon, where it is described as a tale in which “two teenagers embroiled in a dangerous, international web of intrigue have just one goal — to make it out alive.”
Mac’s father, Timothy, a Pennsylvania schools superintendent, said that publishing his daughter’s work seemed a natural way to reward her months of effort.
“What do you do with something you’re proud of?” he said. “You want people to see it.”
Critics say it is wonderful to start writing at a young age, but worry that self-publishing sends the wrong message.
“What’s next?” asked the novelist Tom Robbins. “Kiddie architects, juvenile dentists, 11-year-old rocket scientists? Any parent who thinks that the crafting of engrossing, meaningful, publishable fiction requires less talent and experience than designing a house, extracting a wisdom tooth, or supervising a lunar probe is, frankly, delusional.”
“There are no prodigies in literature,” Mr. Robbins said. “Literature requires experience, in a way that mathematics and music do not.”
Garth Stein, author of the best seller “The Art of Racing in the Rain,” said he saw how publishing could be great fun for children, but cautioned that “part of writing is living and exploring the world and interacting with the world.”
Alan Rinzler, a publishing industry veteran who now works with writers as an editorial consultant, suggested that parents hire a professional editor like him to work with their child to tear a manuscript apart and help make it better.  “That sort of puts a reality check on it,” he said.
Ben Heckmann’s father, Ken, said Ben’s aspirations “weren’t to knock Harry Potter off the list,” but “to get that good feeling inside that you’ve done something.”
“He can play basketball at home, or he can join a team; here he kind of joined a team,” Mr. Heckmann said. “This is Ben’s basketball.”
Ben’s mother, Julie, noted that while Ben has sold hundreds of books, the family could have simply ended up with a stack of Christmas gifts. “You can put your book out there, but it doesn’t mean people are going to like it,” she said.
Ben’s publisher, KidPub Press, which began publishing books by children in 2008, said most sales were made by the families, who buy the books wholesale. The founder and publisher, Perry Donham, said it was “pretty unusual” for a KidPub author to sell more than 50 copies on Amazon.
Some self-publishing companies charge upfront fees, ranging from hundreds to thousands of dollars, for services that include printing, editing, jacket design and distribution. Others, like Lulu, offer to publish books free — though that does not include even a copy for the author’s shelf.
KidPub, which published 140 books last year, charges $250; that includes light copy editing, five printed copies and the promise of distribution on Amazon. “When the kids get the box of books with their name on it and they see their name on Amazon.com, they’re like little rock stars,” Mr. Donham said.
Kevin Weiss, president and chief executive of Author Solutions, which owns or manages 13 self-publishing imprints, said the company expected to publish more than 400 works by authors under age 18 this year.
“Today, a 14-year-old author has as good a chance of creating a following as a 50-year-old author,” Mr. Weiss said. “And maybe a better chance because they understand the nuances of social media.”
Often, they do not need social media to spread the word.
Ajla Dizdarevic, 12, of Waterloo, Iowa, who has self-published two books of poetry, has been on television and in local newspapers. Being a published author, she said, “was always a dream of mine.” Her new dream: three books by age 15.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Ways to Improve Your Writing

By Bonnie Harris

It's amazing what happens when you end up with a sick family. In the back of my head, I had the thought that I needed to get this done, but obviously that happened. So, I'm sorry.

Here's another great article from the Writer's Digest. I've been learning how to tighten up my writing from several ANWA sisters lately and would love to share their wisdowm. The only problem is I haven't quite figured out how to put it into words. I figured this article covers things better than I could say anyway. So, Thank You to those who are helping me refine my writing skills and enjoy this article!

25 WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR WRITING IN 30 MINUTES A DAY

Categories: Haven't Written Anything Yet, Writing for BeginnersHow to Improve Writing SkillsHow to Start Writing a Book, 1st ChapterWhat's NewWriting Your First Draft Tags: .
The best writers never stop striving for ways to write better. Here, five masters of the craft share their secrets for honing the essentials, one technique at a time.
THE MINDS BEHIND THE METHODS:
SAGE COHEN(sagesaidso.com;pathofpossibility.com) is the author of The Productive Writer: Tips & Tools to Help You Write More, Stress Less & Create SuccessWriting the Life Poetic: An Invitation to Read and Write Poetry (both WD Books); and the poetry collection Like the Heart, the World.
DAVID CORBETT(davidcorbett.com) is the author of four critically acclaimed novels, most recently Do They Know I’m Running? His work has been compared to that of Graham Greene, Robert Stone and Dashiell Hammett, among others, and his story “Pretty Little Parasite” was selected for Best American Mystery Stories 2009.
JACK HEFFRONis author of The Writer’s Idea Book and The Writer’s Idea Workshop, and has served as editorial director for Writer’s Digest Books, Emmis Books and Clerisy Press. He is also a freelance writer and writing instructor.
DAVID MORRELL(davidmorrell.net) is the critically acclaimed author of First Blood,The Brotherhood of the Roseand many other bestselling novels, with 18 million copies of his work in print. A popular writing instructor and speaker, he is also author of The Successful Novelist and co-founder of International Thriller Writers.
ART SPIKOLis an editorial consultant, writer and designer, and a National Magazine Award recipient, as well as a longtime contributing editor with WD.
1. Flow
A piece of writing is a living thing. Our goal should be to serve it and do what it wants, to be its instrument. The flow of words from our mind to the page is impeded in two main ways—if we try to make the story do something that it doesn’t want to do, or if something in us isn’t ready to face the full implications of the work’s theme and emotions.
Avoiding those blocks requires developing a relationship with the piece we’re working on, as if it were a person. At the start of each writing session, especially if you’re having trouble moving forward, literally ask your work-in-progress, “What do you want to do? Where do you want me to go with you? Why are you stalling?” This is a psychological trick that almost always creates an imagined response, along the lines of, “This scene is boring. Why are you making me do it?” Or, “This section is full of gimmicks. Why aren’t you being true to the subject?” The device takes only one minute, not 30, and over the years, it’s saved me from writing a lot of passages that would have been either unnecessary or else dishonest. 
—David Morrell
2. Precision
In the study of traditional Chinese painting, the term hua long dian jingspeaks to the need for precision. It translates roughly to mean, “Dot the dragon’s eye, and it comes to life.” In other words, your subject remains inert until you add the precise detail that brings it, in the reader’s mind, to life. Often when we finish a draft, we feel the piece somehow isn’t working. Our writing group says they found it dull in places, or just “didn’t get it.” The culprit is often a lack of precision—the key, specific details that bring the world of the piece alive.
Develop the habit of dedicating time to reviewing your work with precision in mind. How would that scene change if you add a sweet tang of honeysuckle to the breeze? How might this character change if you fasten the top button of his shirt? Henry James told us that writers are people “on whom nothing is lost.” The key to successfully creating or conveying worlds for our readers is painstakingly observing those worlds, and then scribbling down the precise details that tell the story. 
—Jack Heffron
3. Voice
Your voice is how you write, the way you handle language, your style—if you have one. Do I? I write like I think. I like spontaneity. I push and pull, change speed and rhythm, balance short and long sentences. I compare it to jazz riffs and drumrolls. I’m economical with words, but I won’t interrupt a nice solo.
I never have to think about this. It’s me.
But does it rise to the level of “voice”—and does it even matter? I’ve known excellent writers who don’t have a recognizable voice, but have earned awards and attracted readers through their work. Your voice, ultimately, will be what comes out of you. And you’re entitled to it. But how you use it will also depend upon the audience at which it’s aimed and/or the market to which it’s sold.
The desire to develop a voice of your own may make you wish you could write like some others you’ve read. Feel no guilt; all artists stand on the shoulders of those they admire. Thus, for 30 minutes: Rewrite a page of your writing in the style of someone you admire. Don’t worry about losing yourself in the process—you’ll be doing just the opposite.
—Art Spikol
4. Originality
It is perhaps ironic that the exercise I consider most useful to spur originality is one I borrowed from another writer (William S. Burroughs). Then again, the best advice I ever received on writing in general was Oakley Hall’s two-word bromide: Steal Wisely.
In truth, originality is like voice, an elusive quality that cannot be created; it exists or it doesn’t, all you can do is hone it. But we can also strive to look at our own world and work in a fresh way. If you’re in a rut, change something in your routine. Write in a different place; write longhand; dictate into a recorder; switch point of view; remove every modifier in your text and start over—something.
Or, try this: Print out a page of your writing, cut it into quarters and rearrange them. Retype the text in this quasi-jumbled state. Where before your logical brain laid things out in an orderly fashion, you’ll now see them in jump cuts and inexplicable juxtapositions. Return to your work and revise with the best of these angularities intact, to the point they serve the piece, without reordering them back into comfortable reasonableness. Honor the deeper, inherent logic of your work by allowing its quirks and hard edges to show.
—David Corbett
5. Imagery
A successful image can plug right into your reader’s nervous system at times when explanation falls flat. Consider, “Donna felt weak,” versus, “Donna was unable to bring the spoon to her mouth.” Which one makes you want to know what happens next?
To see how images give your writing a boost, rewrite each of the following statements in a way that shows instead of explains:
  • Her hair was a mess.
  • The garden was ready for picking.
  • I hate broccoli.
  • You always change your mind.
  • The moon is full.
Now, revisit a draft of your writing. Try making vague moments more vivid by replacing explanation with imagery. This won’t always be an appropriate solution—sometimes a simple, unembellished statement will be the most powerful choice. But you won’t know until you try.
—Sage Cohen
6. Pace
Much of screenwriter William Goldman’s wonderful Adventures in the Screen Trade can be applied to other types of writing. Goldman advises getting into each scene as late as possible, and out of it as early as possible. Faulty pacing in almost any work can be corrected with this advice.
There’s no need to begin scenes by laboriously explaining how characters arrived there, or to open an article or essay with excessive setup or introduction. If you find you’ve done this, chances are a more interesting way to begin follows just after what you’ve written. Similarly, many writers put an empty paragraph at the end of a scene or section. When revising my novels, I experiment by cutting the first and last paragraph of each scene. Suddenly, a sequence that dragged can become   speedy. Arrive late in a scene and leave early. The reader will fill the gaps.
—Morrell
7. Unity
One method for creating a sense of unity in a piece of writing is the use of selective repetition. A detail or remark or even just a unique word mentioned early in your piece can be echoed later, creating a sense of wholeness through the reader’s recognition of the previous mention. That recognition also imbues the repeated element with a resonance, not unlike a coda in a musical composition. The reader enjoys a satisfying sense of progression, of having moved from one literary moment to another.
Reread a piece you’re working on with an eye toward finding that element you could repeat in a subtle way, and then look for a place later in the piece where you could drop it in. If you’re unsure which one would be most affective, experiment by trying several. Ask yourself: If you had to cut all the details or images and retain only one, which one would you keep? That’s the one you want.
—Heffron
8. Sentence Structure
Well. I don’t know that any writer in the 21st century worries about subjects and predicates. Or believes that one shouldn’t begin a sentence with and or but or or. Or thinks contractions are slang. So I don’t have much to say on this matter.
But this is important.
Generally, I don’t like rules for writers. The First Amendment doesn’t, either. But the English language is democracy in action. It responds to its users. If it didn’t, we’d still be saying “prithee” and calling taxis “hacks.” Hence, my 30-minute recommendation is to sit down and write whatever moves you, following only one rule:
Don’t bore anybody.
—Spikol
9. Word Choice
The poet Frank O’Hara is rumored to have given this advice: “If you think in pictures, write. If you think in words, paint.”
This turns out to provide some guidance on word choice. If you’re stuck on a word, sketch what it is you’re trying to describe. It doesn’t matter how good you are at drawing. What matters is the employment of a different skill set, a portion of the brain distinct from the one that has been searching for the mot juste.
Or consider a soundtrack for the scene. Let the scene play out in time along with the music, or read it aloud with the music as background. When you employ a different depictive medium than mere words, different associative threads (or synaptic connections) can be brought to bear on the task.
—Corbett
10. Rhythm is the subliminal soundtrack in writing. To explore options for moving a reader along, choose a dramatic passage from a published piece you admire. How do you feel when you read it? (Notice your breathing, heart rate, posture and emotions.) How did the writer provoke this response? How do word pairings and sentence and paragraph structures contribute to its momentum? How do these rhythmic choices serve the piece’s meaning?
Now, write a passage that echoes the patterns you’ve discovered. If the first sentence is three short words, yours should be, too. Where a descriptive image blossoms for a paragraph, let yours do the same. Communicate emotion through your rhythm. You might let rage stutter through the syncopation of words and halting punctuation, or stream through run-on sentences. Notice how these choices support or squelch the surrounding narrative. Just as a musician practices scales until they become second nature, your attention to the mechanics of rhythm will help you improvise over time.
—Cohen
11. Inspiration
In my writing classes, I devote a session to daydreams, which are spontaneous messages from our subconscious. After one of my presentations, a puzzled member of the audience raised his hand and asked what a daydream was. Others were surprised, but I wasn’t. Not everyone has a daydream-friendly mind. In fact, some people have been taught to repress daydreams as mere distractions.
As writers, however, we should not only welcome daydreams, but train ourselves to be aware of them. In fact, the cores of most of my novels have come from daydreams. Daydreams are our primal storyteller at work, sending us scenes and topics that our imagination or subconscious wants us to investigate. Each day, we should devote time (I usually do this before sleeping) to reviewing our daydreams and determining which of them insists on being turned into a story. Don’t push away those daydreams that make you uncomfortable: The more shocking the daydream, the more truthful about us it is. Embrace that truth.
—Morrell
12. Balance
Creating a sense of balance in your piece is similar to creating unity (see the opposite page), but the repeated element is even more obviously connected to its earlier use. A classic example: In The Great Gatsby, as F. Scott Fitzgerald introduces us to the Buchanans in early summer, he emphasizes the breeze blowing through the room, billowing the curtains and the women’s dresses. Later, the same characters seated in the same place are shown in the heat of summer as weighted down, dispirited, languid. The connection between these descriptions creates balance and gives the reader a keen (if not necessarily conscious) sense of progression. It also implies that the characters are no longer free and airy, but encumbered by the circumstances that have arisen.
Set aside 30 minutes to reread your work, looking for a description, scene or metaphor that you can repeat later with some aspect changed to serve as a counterweight to the first usage.
—Heffron
13. Clarity
You have to lead your audience through a tapestry of facts, ideas and events. No matter what you’re trying to get across, you have to get it across, so keep it simple—unless complexity improves it.
In 30 minutes, examine your work for the following:
  • A Stake in the Action: Readers need one. Drop the first shoe early to get them listening for the second, and give them something to care about.
  • Logic: It’s the most important element of clarity. If you’ve written something that doesn’t quite connect, try saying, out loud, “What I’m really trying to say is …” and then finish the thought. Sounds crazy, but it usually works.
  • Bumps in the Road: Check your work for brilliant phrases that you’d love to use somewhere, anywhere—but that interrupt the momentum. I used to cut and paste my elegant gems into a “futures” file; it rightfully became a cemetery.
  • Verbosity: Avoid longish, meandering quotations by paraphrasing. Save the quotation marks for particularly revealing or quotable statements.
  • Jargon: Save it for cocktail parties—unless it’s the everyday language of your audience.
—Spikol
14. Effective Details
The key to effective description is to realize the importance of contradictions. The telling detail is almost always one that at first glance doesn’t seem to fit, but by its being there creates the unique whole that the object or action or person represents.
Go to a good people-watching spot or a place you want to describe. What’s the thing that doesn’t quite belong? Pair one or two more typical attributes of the thing/person/scene with this anomaly, and judge the impression. If it differs from what you meant to describe, figure out what’s missing. Add as few details as possible.
A related point: Often, we read a description and think, If this is therethen that has to be there as well. Many writers then think that both details must be included, but usually the opposite is true. Provide the stronger, more typical of the two, and the other is implied; the reader’s mind supplies it automatically.
—Corbett
15. Creativity
Creativity is the secret sauce of the writing life. Its ingredients are different for everyone, and may change over time, which can make it difficult to keep the cupboards stocked. When you get stuck, take 30 minutes and try one of these:
  • Switch genres. Write a poem before diving into a narrative piece.
  • Review incomplete writing for a scrap of idea or language; let it lead you in.
  • Burn kindling. Keep a file of art, poems, quotes, pressed flowers—whatever ignites your imagination. Sift through it when you need a spark.
  • Grow your own list of triggers. Repeat what works until it doesn’t; then try something new.
—Cohen
16. Simplicity
The great film director Billy Wilder was once asked if he liked subtlety in a story. He answered along the lines of, “Yes. Subtlety is good—as long as it’s obvious.” The same can be said about complexity and simplicity. Some stories are so complex that it’s frustratingly impossible to understand them. But others (like Wuthering Heightsor Bleak House) are complex in a way that we don’t find difficult to understand, and actually find enjoyable because of the complexity. Conversely, Hemingway’s famous simple style is in fact very complex.
What really matters is whether or not something is clear. Each day, as you revise the pages from your prior writing session, take a few minutes to ask yourself, “Is this clear? Will the reader understand it?” If you’re not sure, revise until the answer is yes. Don’t be afraid to deal with a complex topic in a complex way, but always keep in mind that clarity will make you the reader’s friend.
—Morrell
17. Avoiding Clichés
Everyone “gets” clichés. That’s why they show up virtually everywhere. Clichés may be thought of as overused and predictable, but few people complain about movie car chases. For every person who doesn’t want “same old,” hundreds continue to enjoy stereotypical hard-boiled dicks helping dames in distress. Depending on your audience, a well-placed cliché can be more effective than an explanation.
Nevertheless, we need folks like you to buck the trend. So here are some ways to spend a half-hour:
  1. Create a cliché-free protagonist: you. Choose a career you once contemplated. Change your age, gender, race. Investigate something that intrigues you. Invent a situation that boosts your heart rate. Send your character to a place you’d like to visit. Now write.
  2. Remove from a work unnecessary parts of speech—such as replacements for the perfectly acceptable said, and words like angrily to reveal how someone slams a door. Say no more than readers need to know; let their imaginations work.
  3. I’ve intentionally loaded my five contributions to this article with more than my usual share of clichés. Circle them. Do it now. The early bird gets the worm.
—Spikol
18. Communication
Good writing connects with readers. For each piece you write, ask yourself:
  1. Who is my audience? Imagine the people you’d most like to reach.
  2. What do I want the experience and result of this piece to be? What do I want readers to know or believe? How do I want them to feel? What do I want them to do when they’re finished reading?
  3. How will I measure my ability to deliver on these goals? Workshop it in a writing group? Post it on my blog? Submit it to a publication?
Pay attention to feedback. You’ll start to see the types of people and publications that are attracted to what you write, how you’re meeting their needs (or not), and opportunities for becoming more effective.
—Cohen
19. Tension
Tension results from two factors: resistance and ambiguity. In nearly every piece of narrative writing, fiction or otherwise, someone is trying to achieve something. Tension results from external or internal opposition to achievement of the goal (resistance), or uncertainty as to the narrator or character’s understanding of the situation in which she finds herself (ambiguity), specifically its perils (psychological, emotional, physical).
Tension is essential because it keeps readers reading. Thus, in every scene you write, strive to heighten tension by doing one of two things: Enhancing the forces impeding achievement of the goal, or confusing/complicating the narrator or character’s understanding of the situation.
At the end of every writing session, take time to find and stress those elements within the narrative that serve these purposes. Trim away elements that do not, unless they add necessary color.
—Corbett
20. Evoking Emotion
Hemingway spoke of a story’s “sequence of motion and fact.” James M. Cain discussed “the algebra of storytelling: a + b + c + d = x.” What they meant was a sequence of incidents in a story that, if arranged correctly and dramatized vividly, will create a stimulus that compels the reader to feel the emotion the author is trying to create. Talking about emotions won’t compel a reader to feel them. “He felt sad” won’t make a reader feel sad. Instead, the reader must be made to feel the situations in the story, to experience what the characters experience; as a result, just as a sequence creates emotion in the characters, it will do the same in the reader. This is a case of stimulus-response.
Writers can achieve this effect if they take the sense of sight for granted and emphasize the other senses, thus crafting multidimensional descriptions and scenes. Details of sight alone almost always create a flat effect, so when revising, take a few minutes to make sure that each scene has at least one other sense detail. In this way, the reader becomes immersed in the story, feeling it rather than being told about it.
—Morrell
21. Figurative Language
Figurative language can enrich our writing, adding nuance and depth, like the addition of a harmony line to a melody. The right metaphor can enlarge our subject and offer our readers new ways of perceiving it. The risk involved, like adding a heavy sauce to your delicately flavored meal, is that the language can distract the reader and obscure your meaning rather than developing it. Figurative language calls attention to itself, can easily descend to cliché, and asks for the reader’s complicity, all of which could break your reader’s focus.
My advice, therefore, is to use figurative language sparingly, strive to make it fresh, and understand the implications of the comparisons you’re making (directly or indirectly). Make sure it’s serving the piece. In creating an effective metaphor, trust your subconscious, which makes connections our conscious minds cannot readily make. Don’t reach for the quick, easy one. Instead, take the time to plumb the depths of your imagination. Risk a reach toward an unlikely comparison rather than a safe one. You might be surprised at one you find, and your reader will be delighted.
—Heffron
22. Objectivity
The perils of subjectivity arise largely from overidentifying with a subject, narrator or character in a narrative, and making it (or him or her) the vehicle for a thematic point in which the author himself is overly invested. The antidote is at least as old as the New Testament, specifically Matthew 5:43–48, where Christ instructs his followers to love their enemies. If what I have to say seems old hat, therefore, I’ll be neither disappointed nor surprised.
If you find yourself overidentifying with a topic or character, try to identify within the sympathetic subject, narrator or even oneself a trait or belief or habit that is repellent or inexcusable or just plain odd. In doing so, you’ll enhance the psychological or moral distance between yourself and the object of familiarity
or allegiance.
Another possible strategy is to rewrite the scene or section from the point of view of someone other than the object of sympathy. This forced disconnect can achieve a similar effect.
—Corbett
23. Revision
There are two good reasons for revising what you’ve written: Either you want to change something, or your editor, agent or client does. If the revision is your idea, that’s good. It means you know what you want, or what you suspect won’t fly. If the revision is by request, remember: The customer may not always be right, but she has the money and the medium—as well as the experience of buying for it. (You can fight for what you believe, of course, but choose your battles carefully. Races are won or lost in the final minutes.)
I knew a writer who would write a first draft and submit it without even reading it over. Others, myself included, substitute and trim and pinch and juggle until the work pours like melted butter.
With that in mind, here’s your 30-minute assignment:
Reduce by a third the word count of one of your recent efforts without losing its essence. (I did this myself, in fact, with my contributions to this article.) Note: Don’t constantly reread what you’ve written; if you memorize it, self-editing will be tougher. Put it away for a few days. Then read it fresh.
—Spikol
24. Language
Think of your writing as a windshield. Ill-suited words can streak and cloud your reader’s view, and just-right language can be as clarifying as a high-powered carwash. Once you have a solid draft, it’s time to consider:
  • Could a different word bring even more energy or resonance to a poignant moment through sound, subtleties of meaning, or syllabic rhythm?
  • Could the setting be conveyed more vividly? Is the natural world palpable?
  • Is the emotional tone consistently resonant? Are there neutral words or passages that could be more charged?
  • Does the language powerfully enact the action?
As you polish and prune, each piece of writing will teach you something new about what is possible. Let yourself be surprised.
—Cohen
25. Style
Writers sometimes speak of style as if it were an ingredient to be added to their story or poem or memoir. Instead, style is the thing itself. E.B. White said it best, writing, “Style takes its final shape more from attitudes of mind than from principles of composition, for, as an elderly practitioner once remarked, ‘Writing is an act of faith, not a trick of grammar.’” The key, then, to developing one’s style is to write, as White states, “in a way that comes naturally.”
Sound easy? It’s not. In fact, finding the “way that comes naturally” can take a lifetime, and the way can change with each piece you begin. One key to beginning that journey is to think about style not so much as a matter of addition, but subtraction—casting off feelings of awkwardness and self-consciousness, affectation and pretension. Focus on presenting your piece clearly, in a way that connects with readers. For practice, imagine a single reader sitting across a table from you. Spend a half-hour relating your piece to that reader, as clearly and honestly as possible. Spend another half-hour striving to make the piece more clear, more honest, more affecting. Then spend another half-hour making the piece more clear, more …
—Heffron