MISSING OKALEE by Laura Ojeda Melchor

MISSING OKALEE by Laura Ojeda Melchor. This sweet book of sisterly love has the potential of triggers for those who have lost loved ones, especially tragically. I appreciated seeing the growth in Phoebe in light of a tragedy. The lessons she learned were very real and relatable. It was a difficult read for me at times, yet at other times it was beautiful. 

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When compared to her nearly perfect little sister, Phoebe Paz Petersen feels she doesn't measure up in her parents' eyes. Okalee is smart and beloved for her sunny disposition, which makes it hard for Phoebe to stand out in their small town in Montana. But if she can get picked for the coveted solo in the school choir, she'll stop being a middle-school nobody and finally get her chance to shine.

Despite her sister's annoying perfection, Phoebe actually loves spending time with Okalee. They have one very special, secret tradition: River Day—when they hold hands and make their way across the cold, rushing Grayling River, to celebrate the first hint of spring. This year's River Day crossing, however, goes horribly wrong, and Phoebe's world is suddenly turned upside down.

Heartbroken and facing life without Okalee, Phoebe is more determined than ever to sing the solo in the school concert as a way of speaking to her sister one last time. But Phoebe's so traumatized by what happened, she's lost her beautiful singing voice.

Kat Waters wants the choir solo for herself and is spreading a terrible rumor about what really happened to Okalee on River Day. If Phoebe tells the truth, she believes her family will never forgive her and she may never get to sing her goodbye to Okalee. Even worse, somebody is leaving Phoebe anonymous notes telling her they saw what really happened at the river.

THE WISH AND THE PEACOCK by Wendy S Swore #shadowmountainpublishing

THE WISH AND THE PEACOCK by Wendy S Swore. This was an interesting read. It was definitely from the eyes of a child. In the beginning I felt a little lost and didn't understand why Paige was acting the way she was. As the story unfolds more, things make more sense and the needed connections are made to truly understand Paige's way of thinking. Everyone deals with grief in a different way and this is a great story of how a child may react to a situation and follow through with the way they see the situation. It also shows how friends support, help each other, and band together for a cause. It is a good read for anyone, especially those children who have suffered some type of loss. It may help them put their feelings into words. I highly recommend it.

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Be Strong and Wish Big

Paige's favorite family tradition on the farm is the annual bonfire where everyone tosses in a stone and makes a wish. This time, Paige's specific wish is one she's not sure can come ture: Don't let Mom and Grandpa sell the farm.

When Paige's younger brother finds a wounded peacock in the barn, Paige is sure it's a sign that if she can keep the bird safe, she'll keep the farm safe too. Peacocks, after all, are known to be fierce protectors of territory and family.

With determination and hard work, Paige tries to prove she can save the farm on her own, but when a real estate agent stakes a "For Sale" sign at the end of the driveway and threatens everything Paige loves, she calls on her younger brother and her best friends, Mateo and Kimana, to help battle this new menace. They may not have street smarts, but they have plenty of farm smarts, and some city lady who's scared of spiders should be easy enough to drive away.

But even as the peacock gets healthier, the strain of holding all the pieces of Paige's world together gets harder. Faced with a choice between home and family, she risks everything to make her wish come true, including the one thing that scares her the most: letting the farm go.

CONFESSIONS OF A MOM

Anyone ever feel like they just want the holidays done and over with? Then at the same time they wish they could slow down and enjoy them? That’s about where we are this week. Things keep happening and there isn’t down time. You’d think I’d be use to it by now, but I’m not. :) I’m sure I’m the only one that feels that way. Ha, ha. :)

I’ve had many people comment on my ability to “handle things so well.” I find that phrase interesting for some reason. “It has to be harder than you make it look,” is the other thing people have said. The answer is, “Yes, it is hard. And I’m handling things different than maybe others would.”

Everyone grieves differently. For example, I’ve told Hubby I don’t think I’ve ever seen him really cry this past year. He has teared up, but I’m not sure I’ve seen him cry. I’ve come to understand that crying isn’t the way he handles things. He’s a research kind of guy. When something happens, he learns everything there is to learn about it, from the prophets, from the medical world, anything he can get his hands on. That’s not me. I’ve only done my own research on Trisomy 13 in the last few months.

Me, I hide emotions and I do it well. I talked to my mom about this a little while ago and she said I’ve been that way my entire life. I hide emotions, good and bad. An example that comes to mind is a particular break up I had in my dating years. He had the diamond. That’s how serious it was. It didn’t work out, and a few weeks after the breakup I saw the guy’s brother. He asked me how I was handling things so well. He said it looked like the situation hadn’t even effected me. His brother was a mess. My response was, it did effect me, I just didn’t show it in public. There’s a time and a place to show that kind of emotion and I couldn’t let it completely debilitate me.

The same goes for my current situation. Is it hard? Yes. I wouldn’t wish this kind of pain on my worst enemy. I wish no one ever had to bury a child. It’s not fun. But at the same time I can’t let that pain completely consume me. I still have a life to live and there are others, namely Hubby and Tigger, that need me to still function.

Do I have my moments? Absolutely. But they are usually when I am alone in the car or after Hubby is asleep as I cry myself to sleep or as I’m pleading with The Lord to help me carry on. And He has helped me. There’s no way I could do this without Him.

How do I hide my emotions? Why do I hide them? I’m not exactly sure. However, I have noticed that I tear up much more easily than I ever have in my life. Sometimes I wish I wore my emotions on my sleeve. Then everyone that’s new or that I meet might know exactly what we’ve been through, but at the same time I don’t want to deal with the pity that will show on their faces or the awkwardness that will follow that kind of conversation. So in a way, it’s easier to just hide my emotions.

That’s just the way I deal with things though. Everyone is different. Some need time alone, others need people, still others can, do, and should seek professional help. But you should also know that grieving is a good thing. It’s something that you should allow yourself to do.

At Lion’s funeral, a great friend and mentor to Hubby, Elder Wright spoke about mourning and grieving. Now I’m not quoting verbatim—although it was very eloquently stated that I might quote him later—but he said that mourning and grief is a form of love. It’s not selfish in nature, but rather shows that we loved and cared for the person that is no longer with us. Kind of like the true definition of loss. (I covered that here.)

It’s a natural thing and we should let ourselves and others grieve in their own ways. Just because others don’t “handle” things the way you think you would doesn’t mean they aren’t hurting. And I think you’d surprise yourself in how you handle different situations.

I’m not meaning to be a downer during this happy, joyful season. It seems that these kind of things have been thrown more in the forefront than they have in the last little while. Despite all of that though, life is good. We are ready for Christmas to come and all the joy the season brings. Merry Christmas to all! :)