CONFESSIONS OF A MOM

Well, here are the side-by-sides that I promised. Now that I look at them, they don't look so much alike. I'll be interested to see what you think. No, they are not in birth order and I tried to choose the pictures with the same pose or at least close too it. :)

This has been an interesting week. Bear is doing better at night when I stop and think about it, but I ended up sick so everything just feels like it's much worse than it is. I find myself trying desperately not to wish away this precious time. As I'm sure you know, time doesn't stop. I look at Tigger and shake my head. Where did the time go? So I know I can't wish away that time with Bear, but man it would sure be nice to get a little bit more than a few hours of broken sleep.

I have also been reminded of my previous statement of, "Sleep is highly overrated." I'd like to offically apologize for that. I am learning the value of sleep and learning to appreciate it much more than I ever have before. All I can say is it could be much worse. I am very grateful for what I have. I shouldn't complain.

Really that's been the week, fighting with myself to not wish time away at the same time I'm praying Bear will get just a little bit older so he'll begin to sleep longer at night. Everyone says it gets better, and I know it does, it's just hard to see in the middle of everything. Perspective. I need to remember perspective.

There's one other thing I've battled with this week. I know I don't feel well. I know my fuse is shorter than I'd like it to be. I know the little things are going to be the things that do me in. But even though I know this and I tell myself to keep my voice down (not much of an option right now since it's taking a vacation without me) and to not lose my cool I still do. I can be losing it at the same time my brain is telling me to take a chill pill. It's an odd feeling. I haven't figured out how to counteract it or to even follow what my brain is telling me.

It would be very easy to point blame. In fact that's what I do. I don't feel well so it's okay. I know my fuse will be short so it's okay. It's because of . . . I can sit here all day and come up with the excuses but in the end it's still me that has to take responsibility for how I'm behaving, just like what I expect from Tigger and eventually Bear. Take responsibility. It's a hard thing but somehow I'll figure out how to do it.

Anyway, let me know what you think of the pictures and have a fabulous week! :)