Confession Of A Mom

Well, it happened. My mom warned me it would happen someday. I just smiled and nodded. I can’t remember exactly what I thought at the time, but I don’t think I really believed her. Then it happened, and all I could do was laugh.

I was trying to pack for our road trip to my uncle’s funeral. Tigger was helping me by feeding our dog. He dumped the food in the bowl and handed me the scoop. On my way out of the room he asked me if he could do something. I didn’t fully process what he asked but I said yes anyway. (Go ahead and laugh. I’m sure you can see what’s coming.)

By the time I came back into the front room, (Now we don’t always feed our dog inside, however, she doesn’t always decided to eat breakfast and we have a turtle that will devour her food and she goes nuts. Hence why we’ve been feeding her inside as of late.) Tigger had his tracker full of dog food and had dumped it in piles all over the front room. I walked in while he was rolling his tracker over the piles spreading it our even more and crushing it in the process.

My mom’s voice came into my head and as I said, all I could do was laugh. Even now as I think of it I smile. I’ve thought of that over the past several days, and don’t ask me how my brain linked it to this next experience, but it did.

On the road trip, Hubby drove most of the way. I found myself nervous during some parts of the trip. It’s not that I don’t trust Hubby, I do, but I would grab the door, my foot would push down on the nonexistent brake, and I bit my tongue trying not to tell him where he needed to be. For me, that’s a common occurrence whenever he drives. I’m learning though. He’s a good driver. I know he is, but I still tense up.

With a total of thirty hours in the car, I had plenty of time to ponder this issue of mine. I realized that I react that way because I’m not in control. Hubby doesn’t drive the way I do. For one who likes or prefers to be in control, especially in driving, that a hard thing to give up. In fact, for a long time I’ve read a book while he’s driven just so I don’t get so nervous

Now this next conclusion may seem a little out there, but I truly believe that it is related. As much as I say I trust Hubby, in that area (driving) I don’t fully trust him. That’s another hard thing to admit. Since I’ve actually made that connection—giving up control and trust—I’ve had an easier time in the car with him. Because in reality, I trust Hubby with my life. In order for me to truly embrace the gravity of that statement, I need to trust him while he’s driving, or in other words give up my control.

It’s the same way with The Lord. We have to fully trust that he has a plan for each and everyone of us. Whether or not we understand it or want to find the reason for things we need to trust that He knows what’s best. It’s whether or not that we trust that He knows best. It’s not an easy thing, especially when things don’t go the way we think or would like them to go. So the big question is, am I willing to let go of the control and trust that The Lord loves me, is guiding me, and knows what’s best for me? It's something I'm continually working on.